Halloween

[Mice squeaking]

Come on, sweetie pie.

Morning, Elvis.

You're a pretty Elvis, aren't you?

Yes, you are.

Yes, you are.

Jesus Christ, Ronnie, you know

I have to f***ing work tonight.

Somebody around here

has got to make some money.

I'm all broken up here, b*tch.

I can't work.

- Yeah, and whose fault is that?

- F*** you.

Oh, my God, you're pathetic.

You know that new waitress

over at the Bingo Lounge?

She's been giving me the freaky eye.

Oh, the whore with the big tits

hanging down to her knees?

Maybe I'll choke the chicken,

purge my snorkel

all over them flappy-ass tits.

Good. Well, have

a good f***ing time.

- I will.

- I hope she likes cripples.

B*tch, I will crawl over there,

and I will skull f*** the sh*t outta you!

Oh, I'll get the crutches for you.

See what you did?

F***ing loudmouth.

Waah! Waah!

That's all that f***er does is cry.

Waah! Waah!

Cry and sh*t. Cry and sh*t.

Just like you.

That's all you do is cry and sh*t.

F*** you and set it

on my pole right now, b*tch.

F*** off.

Mom?

Can't you see I'm making eggs over here?

I'll pass.

Since when?

Since now. They're chicken abortions,

and they're f***ing gross.

They are not chicken abortions.

Like you know what an abortion is.

You know what, can you please

go upstairs and get your brother?

Why do I always have to do it?

Just do it!

Don't you give me that look!

Man, that b*tch got herself

a nice little dumper.

- What did you just say?

- You heard me.

No, say it again, Ronnie!

Say it to my face!

Oh, what's the matter?

You jealous of your own daughter's ass?

- F***ing pig.

- Aah!

You f***ing whore!

[Baby crying]

All right, now clean it up!

- Go on.

- I'm not gonna do this anymore!

Michael.

Stop jerking off in there.

Get away!

Hey! Get your ass downstairs

and wash your hands, you little sh*t.

I'm not listening!

Aaaahhh!

Let me tell you something.

That freak of yours,

he needs some serious discipline.

I mean, he runs around like a little b*tch.

You leave him alone.

Keep your hands off him.

Give me a f***ing break.

He's probably a queer.

He's gonna grow up,

end up cutting his dick and balls off

and changing his name to Michelle.

There he is.

Good morning, Michelle, ma belle.

What the hell took you two so long?

Elvis died. I had to flush him.

Oh, honey, I'm sorry.

We'll get you a new one

after school, okay?

Okay.

What'd you do to him,

stroke him to death?

Uh, Elvis.

Elvis! Uh! Uh! Uh!

You know what?

It's a f***ing rat.

Who pays money for a f***ing rat?

I mean, it's a goddamn rat, man.

Morning, Boo.

"Morning, Boo."

Take that damn thing off.

You are starting to annoy me, boy.

I hate you.

And I hate you, too. You see this?

As soon as this heals,

I'm gonna break it again on your f***ing face!

[Mom] Enough, all right?

Can we just eat in peace for once?

[School bell rings]

[Urinating]

What a f***ing p*ssy, dude.

I told you he wouldn't fight.

He's all f***ing talk.

I was like-- We were fighting, right?

You were there. He was like,

"I'm not gonna fight you." I was like--

Yes!

I know where he lives.

- You want to egg his house?

- We can totally do that.

- Yeah.

- Oh.

Hey, sh*t-pants.

What's going on? You know, um...

I heard your sister got caught

selling blow jobs in the bathroom.

I heard they had to pump the cum

out of her stomach.

[Sucking sound]

Hey, Mikey, how's your mom doing?

You know, my old man said that for a buck

she'd rub her tits on his face.

Shut up.

What the f*** did you say, f*ggot?

- Mikey's upset.

- Look how tough he is.

Hey, ball-licker, check this out.

I was thinking of making copies of Mommy

for the whole school.

- F*** you.

- Hey! Tough guy!

Think she'd suck my dick for a quarter

and let me suck her tits?

- Shut up! Shut up!

- Don't f***ing yell in my face, you b*tch!

F*** off!

What the hell is going on here?

Break it up!

I said break it up!

You over there,

you over there, you there.

- He started it.

- Shut up!

F*** you.

What did you say, son?

I said f*** you.

F*** me?

Come here.

Come here.

- My bag!

- Grab it!

Again? Again? Jesus, what is it with you

and this goddamn school?

I cannot keep coming down here like this.

Look, Miss Myers,

I do not enjoy calling you down here

every five minutes.

Really?

It sure seems like you f***ing do.

Can't you get control

over your school, principal?

Yes, I can get control.

I can control my school.

There's something you gotta know.

Will you just relax a moment?

Please sit down and let me talk to you.

- Please. Please.

- Okay. What?

Please, sit down.

- Thank God.

- Hi, Jim. How are you?

Is this her?

Miss Myers, this is Dr. Loomis.

I took the liberty of calling him in.

- Happens to be a child psychologist--

- Thank you, Jim.

Psychologist?

May I ask you,

has your son ever had any kind

of serious psychiatric evaluation?

Okay, I've had enough.

This is crazy.

- Miss Myers, please.

- I gotta get back to work.

- I gotta go.

- Please, ma'am.

We only want the best for the child.

Please don't take offense.

Please, sit down. Sit down.

Thank you.

Look, uh, Miss Myers...

we found this...

in Michael's school bag.

Come on. Big deal.

He found a dead cat.

And these.

What is that?

I hope you're not squeamish, Mrs. Myers.

Oh, God.

Oh, this is really sick.

Are you saying Michael did this?

Michael loves animals. He--

Why would he do this?

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