Encino Man

Synopsis: Stoney and Dave find a caveman (Link) trapped in ice, thaw him out, and show him around town. Although Link is slow to catch on to basic concepts of 20th century life, he has no trouble impressing all the girls and helping Stoney and Dave find the coolness they've been searching for.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Les Mayfield
Production: Hollywood Pictures
  1 win & 1 nomination.
 
IMDB:
5.7
Metacritic:
25
Rotten Tomatoes:
15%
PG
Year:
1992
88 min
2,235 Views


[ Screaming ]

[ Screaming ]

- [ Car Alarms Wailing ]

- [ Dogs Barking ]

[ Panting ]

l hate those things.

Oh.

# Ooo-ooo

Ooo-ooo #

# Ooo-ooo

Ooo-ooo #

# Reality used to be

a friend of mine #

# Reality used to be

a friend of mine #

# May be why the question

that's on your mind #

# But reality used to be

a friend of mine #

-# Reality used to be a friend of mine #

-[ Barking ]

# Reality used to be

a friend of mine #

# Please don't ask me

'cause l don't know why #

# But reality used to be

a friend of mine #

# l used to be friends with reality #

# She used to be a pal

real close to me #

# But she tried to hide from me

what was in store #

[ Howling ]

[ Woman ] Stanley, is that--

Will you put that back ?

- Ummm.

- Put that back !

Hey, l just washed all this stuff.

- lt's my gear.

- Sorry, man.

- lt's okay.

- What's my mom screaming about ?

She's bummed

'cause l snaked your last bagel.

- Grab a shovel, man.

- No, l just wanna munch.

You don't wanna help,

that's just fine.

- [ Stoney ] Uh-huh.

- This is a total waste of time.

Dave, be more of a geek.

There's no way you're going to the prom.

- [ Girl ] You're a disease.

- Ahh.

- And no one will ever swim

in this stupid pool.

- Hey !

Later.

Look, David, please do me a favour

and stress less, bro.

High school is over, buddy.

Get into it.

We're losers.

l've decided something, Stoney. l wanna

look back on my high school career,

and think that l started slowly

but l finished strong, you know ?

High school's almost over and

l don't have anything to show for it.

l know, me neither.

You should be stoked though, buddy.

You got through the last four years

without the full-on melon tweekage.

lt's not enough. l mean,

l want my own page in the yearbook.

Jump off the gym, splatter on the street

and go for the co-ver.

lt's not funny. l'm not goin' down

as this geek kid from Encino.

When l finish this pool, l'm gonna

have the killer party after the prom.

l'm gonna be the prom king !

And l'm gonna graduate a legend.

[ Stoney ]

Well, what about me ?

Oh, well, you'll be there too.

Thanks, but Robyn Sweeney, she's not

goin' to the prom with you, man.

-l wish she would but she's not.

-What are you talkin' about ?

Robyn Sweeney is mine.

She's become a major babe

and she loves me.

- She finds you crusty, Dave.

- l'll convince her.

- She'll see the truth.

- Truth is...

life's about greasin' the do-back,

buddy, and weasin' on the buffest.

High school was interesting, right,

but it was kind of

like a harsh ride. O-o-o-ow.

We're goin' on to bigger

and better things, buddy.

Stoney, l am on to

bigger and better things.

Count on it !

[ Stoney Yelling ]

[ Stoney ] Oh, wow !

Hey, what's up ?

- # l'm a stoney crusty dude #

Did you know that ?

- Get out, dude.

- [ Stoney ] # l got a mop on top #

- Watch out !

Excuse me. Could you move. Me and

my friend, David, are comin' through.

- Hey, there's Robyn.

- Hey, Robyn. O-o-o-ow !

Four-wheelin' over the ferns.

Look, Dave, you're gonna have to mellow

out, bro, on this whole Robyn thing.

- She always shines ya.

- You don't understand. We have history.

You had pre-freshman history.

You could've had her back then.

She hadn't hit ""babehood"" yet.

Milk does a body good.

Check her.

[ Stoney ]

She's clean, buddy,

and he's got her.

[ Chuckles ]

Matt Wilson ?

What a jerk.

What does she see in him anyway ?

[ Stoney ] He's got the buff spikes

chillin' on top of his melon.

Dude, he's checkin' her cheeks. Ohh !

He's got the serious beak, his own

personal... oh ! holding company,

full of fundage, bro,

- that he weases off of ma--

- Jor.

- [ Stoney ] Eighteen inch bi's.

- Bye-bye.

Mine are only four.

Besides that.

He walks like this, right ?

- Just like this, the nugs fully loose.

- [ Bell Rings ]

[ lndistinct Chatter ]

Hi, Matt.

Hi, Matt.

All right, everybody.

Quiet, please.

Settle down, quiet.

We're gonna start this week's class...

same place we ended last week's class.

That's talking about prehistoric man

in the what ?

Prehistoric man in the-- ?

Oh, Stoney ?

- lce Age.

- Yes, lce Age. Right, the lce Age.

Why do we call it the lce Age ?

'Cause there was a lot of ice.

What do we call these big chunks of ice,

those big slabs of ice ?

- We called what? What do we call them?

- Glaciers.

Right. You are paying attention.

That's good.

These glaciers,

as they moved down our way,

they're so heavy, cold and thick

that they freeze the ground water...

- and they form underground-- ?

- Glaciers.

Right. Believe it or not, some

scientists believe there are actual...

underground glacial movements

still in this part of the world.

You know what l think that is,

class ?

- [ Class ] Lame !

- Exactly. Bunco, bogus.

Listen, please remember...

that most of this hemisphere,

including the ground l'm walking on,

all of this was under ice at some point,

so l guess...

finding something frozen,

dug up here or there,

wouldn't be that uncommon

when you think about it.

So moving right along

on your journey of knowledge,

- Let me show you Cro-Magnon Man.

- [ Girl ] Woo !

He's dope.

l'd go out with him.

- [ Class Laughing ]

- No, no.

l don't think so, Ella. Cro-Magnon Man,

even though he's not bad-lookin',

he's standin' upright and all,

he was extremely brutal.

He just took whatever he wanted...

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Shawn Schepps

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Encino Man" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/encino_man_7642>.

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