Comic Book Villains
- R
- Year:
- 2002
- 92 min
- 81 Views
You know comics?
You know comics?
Oh, please.
I'm listening. I'm all ears.
Please, please, tell me!
It's not just comics.
It's about cash.
It's all mine!
Why? Why? Why would
I split it with you?
Because we were
in this together.
No! I'm in this alone!
My whole life!
Every waking, sleeping,
dreaming moment of my life,
I spent for comics.
What do you
live for, my friend?
You know comics?
You know sh*t!
You know comics?
You know sh*t!
Is that what it would
have taken to share?
I know comics, too.
I--I grew up with them.
Oh, yeah, you know comics.
You're the oracle
of delphi of comics.
Yes, um, uh...
First appearance
of superman?
Uh,
action comics
#1.
Everyone knows that.
Batman?
Detective comics
Spider-man?
Spider-man
#1.
Uh-uh!
Oh, wait, wait. Uh...
Amazing fantasy
Amazing fantasy
Golden age flash?
Golden age flash...
Uh,
flash comics
#1.
Silver age flash?
Showcase 4.
Human torch?
Uh,
fantastic four
#1.
No! I'm taking about
the 1940's torch!
Oh, uh...
Marvel mystery
#1.
Wonder woman?
Wonder woman...
Come on!
Wonder woman...
Wonder woman--
sensation
Wrong!
No, no, wait.
I'm right.
It's definitely
sensation
I'm right.
It's definitely
sensation
No!
No!
It's not
wonder woman #1,
if that's--
what are you trying to do?
What are you trying to do?
Insult me?
Are you patronizing me,
or are you just trying
to get yourself killed?
Because if
you're doing that,
you're doing
a very... good... job.
Our town?
Um... it was normal.
Walk down main street
on a busy Saturday,
and you knew
almost everyone.
Yep, a normal place.
Normal stores
and normal people.
And if it was
a little boring,
no one seemed
to notice but me.
I see it wasn't just normal.
It was real, too--
the real world,
where parents paid bills
and kids worried
about football tryouts,
and kids worried
about football tryouts,
where folks argued
whether the president
was a Saint or a sinner.
Yep. Real.
A little piece
of the world
that my friends and me
didn't belong to.
See, we had
a world of our own.
Why argue about
the president
when you could argue
for the fate of earth
with galactus,
devourer of worlds?
Why try out for football
when you could try out
for the X-Men?
Nah, we didn't
do any of that.
Nah, we didn't
do any of that.
But read enough comics,
and it sure made
you feel like you did.
Pathetic? Yeah, maybe.
But all you out there
with your daytime soaps,
as far as I'm concerned,
you're in glass houses
throwing stones.
That's me.
The name's Archie lake.
I have to say
that I'm a bit different
from a lot of guys here.
Not by choice,
I was alone.
I had a single room
in a guesthouse.
Me, a bed, and more comic
boxes than I could count.
Me, a bed, and more comic
boxes than I could count.
Most of these guys
live at home.
Why? No rent.
And guess what that
And not just
back issues, too,
some costing
some serious dough.
Which is
how and why things turned
Ah, and this
is Raymond macgillicuddy,
owner of this
heaven on earth.
Getting in with Raymond
so he thought you were
worth talking to...
Now that was
something to strive for.
Now that was
something to strive for.
When he thought
you were worth the effort,
boy, those talks...
Stimulating.
About things
that really matter.
If you want to f***
a superheroine,
the golden age canary
wins hands-down over
the modern version
because of the fishnets.
How about the valkyrie
from the
airboy
comic?
Normally,
I'd agree with you, uh,
except for
the fact that she was
in suspended animation.
She started screwing
the airboy in the 1940s,
then she comes out
of cold storage
and starts
screwing the new airboy
in the present?
So?
So?
Well,
the new airboy
in the present
is the son
of the original.
That means the valkyrie
was doing
the father and the son.
That is f***ed up.
Ah, ah, gentlemen,
she was lost.
She was lonely.
She was looking
for love, ok?
Which of us,
under those conditions,
wouldn't do the same?
Yes.
And this is conan.
'cause he says
'cause he says
Robert e. Howard,
the guy who created
conan the barbarian,
was his great uncle,
which I know is a crock.
He's my Dr. doom,
my archfoe.
Why?
He has more money than me,
and he snags
the comics I can't.
Plus, he's in
with Raymond, too.
In fact, it was him
that started all
the craziness.
Though I admit it seemed
innocent at the time
when he opened his mouth,
sweet as pie, and said...
Raymond,
do you know a guy
named David cresswell?
Do you know a guy
named David cresswell?
David cresswell...
No, no. Should--should I?
The new books come in?
Hellboy
by mignola.
Madman
by allred.
The others,
they're the same old crap.
Is that it, arch?
Yeah, unless
my poster came in.
Nope.
Well, what about my
Alex Ross signed hardcover?
Nope, again.
You're not having
much luck today.
Ring me up.
Ring me up.
What's going on?
You seem kind of down.
You all right?
I'm fine.
You know, I just really
don't want to talk about it.
Why not?
You're
among friends.
Um, do you remember
my cousin Sam?
I brought him in once
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"Comic Book Villains" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 23 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/comic_book_villains_5807>.
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