Celtic Pride

Listen up! Kevin, you're

playing the number five position!

It means you set the back pick

on the box on the weak side for Tom!

Cary, you're gonna catch the ball

at the foul line and then pivot.

Pivot into the triple threat position,

bounce pass to Tom

at the top of the key.

Then you backdoor, OK?

You go backdoor towards the basket

for the lay-up.

Are there any questions? What?

Can we go on the trampoline,

Mr O'Hara?

Yeah. No flips on the trampoline.

Thank your friend

Billy Williams for that.

He sued the school after hurting

his neck, ruining it for everyone.

- What?

- Are you all right, Mr O'Hara?

- You look worried.

- Well, Josh, I am a little worried.

My Celtics are playing a very

important basketball game tonight.

I want them to win.

But you say the most important thing

is they try their hardest

and have fun.

No...no.

The most important thing is

that they win.

I mean,

we're not talking about kickball

where there's nothing at stake.

We're talking about

the National Basketball

Association. They have to win.

You understand? They're tearing down

the Boston Garden

at the end of this season,

so this is their last chance at glory.

They will not lose because I won't

let them lose! You understand?

Don't cry.

Don't cry. I was just being silly.

Why don't you go jump

on the trampoline? You'll feel better.

You don't even have

to stand in line. Hey!

Josh doesn't have to

stand in line, everybody!

That's not fair!

- Hey, Mike.

- Hey, Carol. What's up?

Got a minute?

I'm sorry I've been acting

like such a jerk.

We are in the middle

of the NBA finals.

- You know I can get a little crazy.

- I know.

But I've been hearing that

for 1 5 years.

In the 80s, when the Celtics

won the championship,

you were a joy to be with.

I can't stand seeing you

in a good mood when they win

and a bad mood when they lose.

- I won't let Celtics run my life.

- How d'you think I feel?

Mike. These are divorce papers.

I have them

from the last time we split up.

- You saved them?

- Yes!

And the only reason I haven't signed

them is because I feel bad for you.

I spoke with my therapist.

I know that part of this obsession

comes from you never

having made it as a player.

Your dream died,

so you live it through the Celtics.

It's time to move on,

it's time to get a new dream.

My dream is dead.

Squashed like a squirrel on the

highway. Thank you for the update.

Screw you. I was trying to be nice.

But you are hopeless.

I know I'm hopeless.

'Cause my dream is dead!

Hey, kids, listen up!

My dream is dead! OK?

- You are sick.

- I know I'm sick.

I am sick and tired of you

and your therapist

taking something pure

and twisting it around!

I love the Celtics!

OK, I said it! I am not ashamed of it!

I love the Celtics!

Bounce!

I am not a hero.

A hero fights against injustice.

A hero sacrifices for the good of man.

He unites, uplifts and inspires.

I am not a hero. It's my house.

I don't wanna raise your kids.

I don't even like kids.

Yeah, yeah.

That's really nice of you, douche bag.

My Celts are going to give you the

beating of your life tomorrow night.

OK, Bruins. Just one in the net!

That's all I'm asking.

Neely, come on, man! No!

No, no, no, no.

Everybody, just stay calm.

Let them do what they do.

Let the other goalie...

That net was wide open!

Excuse me.

What are you doing?

Just taking a little breakski.

Watching the game here.

- So my toilet still isn't fixed?

- Oh, you gotta go?

Can you hold it five more minutes?

Neely's gonna pull it out.

- Fix my toilet.

- OK.

Plunger.

Grandma?

Are you watching the Bruins game?

Yes, Peanut.

- Can you put the phone by the TV?

- "No problem. Hold on a second."

- Dad, what happened?

- Tommy.

There was a time in this country

when sports were revered.

But people today...

Their values are all out of whack.

Your mom and I are getting divorced.

See you, Tommy.

Bye, Dad.

See you, Dad!

- Hi, darling.

- Hi.

Tomorrow's gonna

be the greatest day of my life.

We'll be celebrating the first

Celtics' championship of the 90s.

- Excited?

- Yeah.

You only finished one order of ribs.

What's going on with you, anyway?

- Carol and I split up again.

- Really?

Yes. What are you smiling about?

Last time you broke up,

the Celtics won the championship.

That thought crossed my mind.

- Good evening, sir. Ma'am.

- Kevin.

Shouldn't you be planting evidence

on somebody this time of night?

I already did that. Celtics are gonna

blow out Utah tomorrow.

I hope so. Scott's taking 50 shots

a game. If he's hot, we're in trouble.

"If he's hot... " Three weeks

of college ball and he's an expert.

He led Boston in rebounds and assists

in his senior year of high school.

You were brutally defeated

in the 1 9 73 State Wrestling

Tournament by a blind guy.

Not brutally. I held back.

I didn't want to hurt the poor kid.

- He pinned you in 8.2 seconds.

- Where do you store all this memory?

I mean, how do you..?

It was more like 1 2 seconds, anyway.

Mark! Turn on the tube. Help me out.

On Tuesday night, the Celtics

defeated Utah Jazz with 1 06-94.

Worse, Scott was fined $ 1 0,000

for missing yesterday's practice.

He had this to say

about Tuesday's game.

I'm sorry, OK?

I've had back problems from carrying

this sorry excuse for a team.

- Talk about your textbook A-hole.

- Blaming the team, right?

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