Brassed Off

A few days, you say.

Not what l'd caII a light traveIIer

are you, pet?

Sorry, it's mainIy work.

l wouIdn't apologise for having work,

flower. Not round here.

What's this then?

It's just a flugeI, a trumpet.

l thought I might get

some practice in.

In here, you mean?

-Well, wherever.

-I wouldn't mind. Don't get me wrong.

There's nowt l'd like better than

to hear you pIaying all night long.

-Oh, no. lt wouldn't ...

-You heard of Grimley Colliery Band?

Yes, I have.

They've their own practice haII.

I should get myseIf down there, pet.

They'd weIcome someone like you

with open arms, knowing them.

Another?

lt's a sad oId day, isn't it Vi?

When it's finaIIy come to this.

-What's that then Ida?

-Jim and Ernie packing in the band.

They're doing it, then?

For definite?

Last practice tonight, Ernie said.

Then resigning after.

No point in carrying on, is there?

Pit goes, band'll go t'same way.

I feeI sorry for oId Danny, mind.

He'lI gave bugger all to do.

-We'lI all have bugger all to do, Vi.

-You get used to it.

-All right, Iove?

-Aye, all right.

Don't forget what you're doing,

you Iads.

Don't be handing over any

kitty money.

-Just resignations.

-Aye, all right, pet.

-WeII, mind you do.

-What do you mean "mind you do"?

-It was our decision, wasn't it love?

-Aye, well...

just mind you do.

Now let's get this right, Ernie.

When he collects for t'kitty,

we say:
sorry Danny, but us two...

we've decided,

in t'present cIimate...

to tighten our belts, Iike, and onIy

spend money on essentiaI items.

Sorry. lt's been

good and all that...

but now, we don't regard band as one

of t'aforementioned essentiaI items.

And regretfuIIy, we feel obliged

to tender our resignations forthwith.

-Right?

-Right.

And then we wake

up in CasuaIty.

If he goes barmy, it's not

our fauIt.

-l mean what's t'worst he can do?

-Have a heart attack?

What the hell, if Danny

doesn't like it...

-boIIocks to him.

-All right, Iads?

Oh, all right, Danny mate?

Sixty years between us, you and me,

down t'pit, frightened of nowt.

When it comes to telling Danny-boy

we're packing t'band in...

We're shitting bloody bricks.

and coming up later in the news...

continuing our regular reports on the

Government's pit closure programme.

We visit Grimley CoIIiery...

which despite being one of the oIdest

and Iargest mines in Yorkshire...

has nevertheless become the most

recent candidate for closure.

AIthough the GrimIey miners, and

their wives, seem very determined...

to fight on and keep

their pit open...

a redundancy offer to the workforce

is believed to be imminent.

The miners, united,

will never be defeated.

The miners, united,

will never be defeated.

Offers at neighbouring pits recently,

have been too attractive to ignore.

ln the last few weeks, 7 pay-off

packages have been offered to 7 pits.

All accepted,

leading to 7 cIosures.

TroubIe is, I'm no bIoody happier

when I'm winning.

DoubIe or quits?

No, best not.

lt's kitty night tonight.

Cheer up Andy.

lt might never happen.

Representatives of union

and management...

meet tonight to discuss the

Grimley redundancy offer.

Bloody going

to though, in't it?

-See you.

-See you.

Don't be a

piIIock all your Iife.

Take t'money

while it's stiII on offer.

A lot of foIk out there wouldn't Iike

to hearthe way you're talking, love.

Aye, and they're alI as daft

as you are.

AlI end up with nowt.

Just Iike us.

Philip.

Late for practice.

-We'll taIk about it later, eh?

-Later?

You'lI stiII be saying Iater when

We're out on't bloody street.

There's always Mr Chuckles.

-I can do more of that.

-Phil?

PhiI, PhiI.

You have a wife and 4 bloody kids

here, a house nobody'll bIoody buy...

mortgaged up to the bloody hilt,

loan-sharks on our backs...

no bloody money, no bloody job,

and what are you going to do?

F***ing juggle?

Bit cIumsy with the crockery,

your Sandra.

-All right, Iove?

-All right.

Crap. That's what that was.

A Ioad of bloody crap.

What did Eric Morecombe say?

AlI the right notes...

but not necessarily the right order.

What happened to you, son?

It just fell apart.

Aye, you're not the only one. Andy

Iad, all over the shop, you were.

-What is up with you lot?

-Got our minds on other things, Danny.

-Like what?

-Blimey, you been on holiday or what?

How do you mean?

Well it may've escaped your notice,

Iike, but pit's under threat.

What's that

got to do with us?

Oh, aye, you're

right, not a lot.

Now listen to me, aII of you. These

are worrying times, I know that.

But look what it says here, eh?

Over a hundred years this band's

been going...

two world wars, three disasters,

seven strikes...

one bloody big depression and t'band

played on every flaming time.

Danny, this is t'biggest disaster

of t'lot.

Can't have a coIIiery band without

a bIoody coIliery, can you?

Listen. We've got the NationaI Semi

FinaIs coming up and we're capabIe...

I mean it, well capabIe of going

through to London.

The first time in our history.

The Albert Hall.

Now I know there's a spot

of bother at the pit...

but that's something separate. This

is music, and it's music that matters.

Now, come on,

kitty fort'weekend.

Danny, me and Ernie, we've been

thinking it over, Iike...

I know subs aren't much, but...

-present cIimate and that...

-What are you saying, Jim?

Me and Jim have made

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes