Zootopia Page #2

CGI BUNNIFER GOODWIN

Aha, a chance to thwart an actual crime! I’ll just chase him into a miniature rodent town where I’ll stomp around like a kaiju, causing massive property damage and risking the life and limb of countless civilians. PROTECT AND SERVE!

(charges through tiny traffic, nearly kills a thousand people)

CGI IDRIS ELBUFFALO

Damnit Bunnifer, I racistly, but also kinda legitimately, won’t stand for your reckless heroics! You’re through! Turn in your badge and - well, this entire police force seems weirdly devoid of guns, but turn in your badge at least.

CGI BUNNIFER GOODWIN

Turn in my badge? Crap, you just awakened Bigyellinchief, the god of police chief clichés!

CGI JENNY UNGUSLATE

(pokes head in)

Say Idris, as the sheep assistant mayor, I just wanted to know that as of RIGHT NOW the mayor is breathing down your neck about letting Bunnifer help find one of those missing predators.

CGI IDRIS ELBUFFALO

Aw damnit. Well if I’m stuck with police chief clichés I might as well go all out. YOU HAVE FORTY-EIGHT HOURS TO SOLVE THE CASE!

CGI BUNNIFER GOODWIN

Ooh, that one’s a cherry.

BUNNIFER looks at the LAST KNOWN PHOTO of a MISSING OTTER and discovers that he was eating one of JASON’S FRAUDULENT CONFECTIONS.

CGI BUNNIFER GOODWIN

So the last random shot of this otter tells me he’d moments earlier spoken to the ONE civilian from this entire giant metropolis who I’ve had a meaningful encounter with? I smell a Mystery Full of Big Convenient Coincidences in the offing!

EXT. STREET

BUNNIFER goes and blackmails JASON.

CGI BUNNIFER GOODWIN

I have here in my hand a recording that incriminates you, so help me find the otter! Funny how nonchalantly I’m threatening you when you’re a predator twice my size and I’ve been raised to believe your kind are all violent murderers.

CGI JASON BATEFOX

Damnit, while it would be both extremely easy and entirely in character for me to just grab the recording device you're waving under my nose and hurl it into a storm drain, I guess I'll cave and work with you instead.

CGI BUNNIFER GOODWIN

Great! We're gonna be such a comically mismatched odd couple! You, a fox, which folklore has always characterized as a quick-witted troublemaker, your textbook trickster archetype; and me, a rabbit, which folklore has always characterized as a quick-witted troublemaker, your textbook trickster - hey wait a minute.

They go to the NUDIST COLONY where the OTTER was headed, where they learn about him getting into a LIMO.

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