Zombieland Page #2

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COLUMBUS (V.O.) *

Call me crazy, she may be about to *

get an answer to that question. *

You know what they say about zombie *

attacks. You always remember your *

first time. Any guesses who’s *

gonna survive this one? Choose *

fast! *

The action STARTS again. The 400-pounder takes AINSLEY DOWN. *

Then turns and BELLY-SPLASHES Fred. *

5.

Tallahassee recovers from the shock, thinks fast, *

aggressively RAISES his SANDWICH CART ABOVE his HEAD, and *

SMASHES it over the zombie’s noggin. The zombie FALLS STILL. *

COLUMBUS (V.O.) *

Maybe you woulda chosen the *

sandwich guy if you knew where this *

scene took place. Little state *

called Florida. *

Tallahassee stands tall and spies the BUSINESSMAN ZOMBIE *

approaching the broken window. *

COLUMBUS (V.O.) *

Little town called... Tallahassee. *

Tallahassee picks up a broken piece of the cart, brandishes *

it like a weapon... and steps out the window to DO BATTLE. *

COLUMBUS (V.O.) *

Welcome... to Zombieland. *

Marlo Thomas’s ‘Free to Be You and Me’ kicks off our CREDITS, *

over a whimsical world-is-falling-apart GRAPHIC SEQUENCE, *

which slowly forms the TITLE: Z-O-M-B-I-E-L-A-N-D *

SMASH CUT TO:

EXT. INDUSTRIAL PARK - NIGHT *

Superimposed on-screen: a TITLE: 2 Months Later *

TALLAHASSEE, the ‘Which Sandy?’ polo swapped out for *

snakeskin jacket and tarp hat, SPRINTS toward camera in SLO-*

MO, a WAREHOUSE behind... *

COLUMBUS (V.O.)

Z-land is like a Greatest Hits

collection of nightmares. The only *

one they forgot to include is the *

one where I’m naked and unprepared *

for my final exam. My ‘friends’ *

and I, we’re among the few non-*

zombies left, thanks to a little *

list. *

Superimposed on-screen: a TITLE: 1. Cardio

COLUMBUS (V.O.)

Cardio. Tops on my Rules for

Surviving Zombieland. Zombies lead

a very active lifestyle. So should

you.

6.

REGULAR SPEED. Tallahassee RUNS across a parking lot. His

tarp hat flies off as he dives over a berm. *

COLUMBUS (V.O.)

Never know when you’re gonna be

running for your life...

Tallahassee joins COLUMBUS, early 20’s, nerdy-handsome, *

afraid of his own shadow... *

...WICHITA, early 20’s, gorgeous, born con-woman... *

...and LITTLE ROCK, tweens, chip off her older sis’s block. *

In Tallahassee’s hand is a ZIPPO LIGHTER, still LIT. Behind

is the WAREHOUSE he was running from: ‘FREDO’s FIREWORKS.’

COLUMBUS (V.O.)

...or some other, almost-as-*

important reason. Here’s to *

enjoying the little things. *

A LIT FUSE curls up through a BROKEN WINDOW... and BOOM! The

whole BUILDING GOES UP in an AMAZING DISPLAY of FIREWORKS!

TALLAHASSEE:

Happy 4th, mi familia!

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