Zombieland script
Zombieland (2013)
Synopsis: Zombieland is a 2009 American zombie comedy film directed by Ruben Fleischer from a screenplay written by Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick. The film stars Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, Emma Stone, and Abigail Breslin as survivors of a zombie apocalypse. The film follows geeky college kid, Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg) making his way through a variety of different scenarios through this new zombie apocalypse. Columbus meets survivors Tallahassee, Wichita and Little Rock. Together, they take an extended road trip across the Southwestern United States in an attempt to find a sanctuary free from zombies.

AINSLEY *

Still haven’t shit my pants. *

Genius of Lactaid. But day ain’t *

over yet. I know, I know. Hash-*

tag, ‘First-world problems.’ Some *

poor soul’s actually suffering out *

there... *

A MAN runs past the window ON FIRE, chased by a 400-POUND *

FEMALE ZOMBIE. *

FRED *

It’s OK to get irritated. You’re *

used to the life you’re used to. *

You’re allowed to get annoyed. Ah, *

lunch... *

TALLAHASSEE, 40’s, square-jawed, wearing khakis and a green *

polo shirt, ‘WHICH SANDY?’ embroidered onto the chest, pulls *

a SANDWICH CART up to the cubicles. He’s just as oblivious *

as Ainsley and Fred to the chaos outside. *

Tallahassee hands over 2 wrapped sandwiches, NAMES in MARKER. *

TALLAHASSEE *

‘Fred.’ ‘Aisley?’ ‘Ashley?’ ‘Ass-*

?’ *

AINSLEY *

It’s mine. *

The 400-pound zombie fails to catch the man on fire. It *

stops, catches its breath, and turns to look IN the WINDOW. *

4.

TALLAHASSEE *

Can I interest you in dessert? *

Ainsley shakes her head, reaches across her desk, and holds *

up a TWINKIE. *

AINSLEY *

Already hit the vending machine. *

(to Fred) *

On the Lactaid, figured why not a *

Twinkie. *

FRED *

Go, girl. *

The 400-pound zombie catches sight of the Twinkie, TURNS, and *

BEELINES for the PLATE GLASS WINDOW. *

TALLAHASSEE *

Mm! Can’t remember the last time I *

had a Twinkie! *

AINSLEY *

Shut the fuck up. Pickles in the *

tuna-fish?! *

Inspired by the tuna, the 400-pound zombie gets closer... *

TALLAHASSEE *

You don’t like pickles? *

AINSLEY *

Pickles make everything else taste *

like pickles. I specifically asked-*

(tosses sandwich down) *

Could this day possibly get any *

worse?! *

On cue, the 400-pounder SMASHES through the WINDOW... and we *

FREEZE FRAME. *

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Rhett Reese

Rhett Reese is an American film producer, television producer and screenwriter. As a screenwriter, his credits include Clifford's Really Big Movie, Cruel Intentions 3 and Dinosaur. He has collaborated with Paul Wernick, writing the films Zombieland, G.I. Joe: Retaliation, and Deadpool.Together they also created the reality series The Joe Schmo Show. more…

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"Zombieland" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2017. Web. 20 Nov. 2017. <http://www.scripts.com/script/zombieland_34>.

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