Wreck-It Ralph Page #2

CLOSE ON RALPH:
As he speaks out-loud.

RALPH:

Man, it must be nice being the good

guy.

Applause. Pull back to reveal...

INT. VIDEO GAME (LIKE A CHURCH BASEMENT) - NIGHT

Ralph sits in a room full of VIDEO GAME BAD GUYS. A sign on

the wall reads:
“BadAnon: One Game at a Time.”

CLYDE:

Nice share, Ralph. As fellow Bad

Guys, we’ve all felt what you’re

feeling, and we’ve come to terms

with it.

RALPH:

Really?

ZANGIEF:

(thick Russian accent)

Right here. I am Zangief. I am Bad

Guy.

OTHER BAD GUYS:

Hi Zangief.

RALPH:

Hi Zangief.

ZANGIEF:

I relate to you, Ralph. When I hit

bottom, I was crushing man’s skull

(MORE)

WRECK-IT RALPH

ZANGIEF (CONT'D)

like sparrow egg between my thighs.

(smacking his thigh)

And I am wondering, why do you have

to be so bad, Zangief? Why can’t

more like good guy? Then I have

moment of clarity: If Zangief is

good guy, who will crush man’s

skull like sparrow egg between

thighs? And I say, “Zangief, you

are bad guy. But this does not mean

you are bad guy.”

Claps of understanding.

RALPH:

Right. I’m sorry, you lost me

there.

ZOMBIE:

(thick Zombie accent)

Arrhh. Zombie. Bad Guy.

OTHER BAD GUYS:

Hi Zombie.

RALPH:

Hi Zombie.

ZOMBIE:

Zangief saying:
labels not make you

happy -- good, bad...

(Frankenstein growl)

You must love you.

CY-BORG

Yeah! Inside HERE!

Cy-borg rips out Zombie’s heart, shows it to Ralph.

RALPH:

Okay. I gotcha. Watch out; it’s

dripping.

CLYDE:

Question Ralph:
we’ve been asking

you to BadAnon for years now, and

tonight you finally show up. Why is

that?

RALPH:

I don’t know, I just felt like

coming.... I suppose it has

something to do with the fact that,

(MORE)

WRECK-IT RALPH

RALPH (CONT'D)

well, today is 30th Anniversary of

my game.

SATAN:

Happy Anniversary, Ralph.

RALPH:

Thanks, Satan.

SATAN:

It’s sai-tine, actually.

RALPH:

Got it. But here’s the thing...

(exhales, then)

I don’t want to be the bad guy

anymore.

GASPS. Bowser spits out his coffee and thus fire.

CY-BORG

You can’t mess with the program,

Ralph.

M. BISON

(miming “crazy”)

You’re not going Turbo, are you?

RALPH:

Turbo? No, I’m not going Turbo.

Come on guys. Is it Turbo to want a

friend, or a medal, or a piece of

pie every once in a while? Is it

turbo to want more out of life?

ZOMBIE:

Yeeeeesssss.

CLYDE:

Ralph, Ralph, we get it. But we

can’t change who we are, and the

sooner you accept that the better

off your game and your life will

be.

ZANGIEF:

Hey, one game at a time, Ralph.

CLYDE:

Now let’s close out with the Bad

Guy Affirmation.

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