Withnail and I Page #3
- Year:
- 1987
- 1,360 Views
The Flat
[I is writting in a notebook on the settee while Withnail wonders round
wearing his overcoat and his underpants, smearing himself with deep heat.]
I [mentally]:
Even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day. And for once
I'm inclined to believe Withnail is right; we are indeed drifting into the
arena of the unwell. Making an enemy of our own future. What we need is
harmony. Fresh air. Stuff like that.
Withnail:
Wasn't much in the tube. there's nothing left for you.
I:
Why don't you ask your father for some money. If we had some money we
could go away.
Withnail [inspecting a bottle for dregs]:
Why don't you ask your father. How can it be so cold in here. It's
like Greenland in here. We've got to get some booze. It's the only solution
to this intense cold. Something's got to be done. We can't go on like this.
I'm a trained actor reduced to the status of a bum. I mean look at us!
Nothing that reasonable members of society demand as their rights! No
fridges, no televisions, no phones. Much more of this and I'm going to
apply for meals on wheels.
I:
What happened to your cigar commercial?
Withnail:
That's what I want to know. what happened to my cigar commercial. What
happened to my agent? Bastard must have died.
I:
September. Bad patch.
Withnail:
Rubbish. Haven't seen Gylgod down the labour exchange. Why doesn't he
retire.
[He picks up a paper.]
Withnail:
Look at this little bastard. Boy lands plumb role for top Italian
director. Of course his does. Probably on a tenner a day and i know
what for:
Two pound ten a tit and a fiver for his arse.[He points accusingly at I.]
Withnail:
Have you been at the controls!?I:
What are you talking about?
Withnail:
The thermostats. what have you done to them?
I:
I haven't touched them.
Withnail:
Then why has my head gone numb. I must have some booze. I demand to
have some booze.
[He lunges towards the mantlepiece where there is a bottle of lighter
fluid.]
I [standing up]:
I wouldn't drink that if I were you.
Withnail:
Why not?
I:
Because I don't advise it. Even the wankers on the site wouldn't drink
that. That's worse than meths.
Withnail:
Nonsense, this is a far superior drink to meths. The wankers don't
drink it because they can't afford it.
[He pours the contents of the bottle into his upturned mouth.]
Withnail:
Ah. Ah. Have you got anymore?
[I shakes his head. Withnail presses forwards and I backs off.]
Withnail:
Liar, what's in your toolbox?
I:
No we have nothing. Sit down!
Withnail:
Liar, you've got antifreeze.
I:
You bloody fool. You should never mix your drinks! [Withnail laughs
histerically, collapses to the floor and emits unpleasant vomitting
noises.]
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"Withnail and I" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/withnail_and_i_955>.
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