Withnail and I Page #3

Synopsis: Withnail and I is a 1987 British black comedy film written and directed by Bruce Robinson. Based on Robinson's life in London in the late 1960s, the plot follows two unemployed young actors, Withnail and "I" (portrayed by Richard E. Grant and Paul McGann) who live in a squalid flat in Camden Town in 1969 while squandering their finances on alcohol. Needing a holiday, they obtain the key to a country cottage in the Lake District belonging to Withnail's lecherous gay uncle Monty and drive there. The weekend holiday proves less recuperative than they expected.
Genre: Comedy, Drama
Year:
1987
1,360 Views


The Flat

[I is writting in a notebook on the settee while Withnail wonders round

wearing his overcoat and his underpants, smearing himself with deep heat.]

I [mentally]:

Even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day. And for once

I'm inclined to believe Withnail is right; we are indeed drifting into the

arena of the unwell. Making an enemy of our own future. What we need is

harmony. Fresh air. Stuff like that.

Withnail:

Wasn't much in the tube. there's nothing left for you.

I:

Why don't you ask your father for some money. If we had some money we

could go away.

Withnail [inspecting a bottle for dregs]:

Why don't you ask your father. How can it be so cold in here. It's

like Greenland in here. We've got to get some booze. It's the only solution

to this intense cold. Something's got to be done. We can't go on like this.

I'm a trained actor reduced to the status of a bum. I mean look at us!

Nothing that reasonable members of society demand as their rights! No

fridges, no televisions, no phones. Much more of this and I'm going to

apply for meals on wheels.

I:

What happened to your cigar commercial?

Withnail:

That's what I want to know. what happened to my cigar commercial. What

happened to my agent? Bastard must have died.

I:

September. Bad patch.

Withnail:

Rubbish. Haven't seen Gylgod down the labour exchange. Why doesn't he

retire.

[He picks up a paper.]

Withnail:

Look at this little bastard. Boy lands plumb role for top Italian

director. Of course his does. Probably on a tenner a day and i know

what for:
Two pound ten a tit and a fiver for his arse.

[He points accusingly at I.]

Withnail:
Have you been at the controls!?

I:

What are you talking about?

Withnail:

The thermostats. what have you done to them?

I:

I haven't touched them.

Withnail:

Then why has my head gone numb. I must have some booze. I demand to

have some booze.

[He lunges towards the mantlepiece where there is a bottle of lighter

fluid.]

I [standing up]:

I wouldn't drink that if I were you.

Withnail:

Why not?

I:

Because I don't advise it. Even the wankers on the site wouldn't drink

that. That's worse than meths.

Withnail:

Nonsense, this is a far superior drink to meths. The wankers don't

drink it because they can't afford it.

[He pours the contents of the bottle into his upturned mouth.]

Withnail:

Ah. Ah. Have you got anymore?

[I shakes his head. Withnail presses forwards and I backs off.]

Withnail:

Liar, what's in your toolbox?

I:

No we have nothing. Sit down!

Withnail:

Liar, you've got antifreeze.

I:

You bloody fool. You should never mix your drinks! [Withnail laughs

histerically, collapses to the floor and emits unpleasant vomitting

noises.]

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Bruce Robinson

Bruce Robinson (born 2 May 1946) is an English director, screenwriter, novelist and actor. He is arguably most famous for writing and directing the cult classic Withnail and I (1987), a film with comic and tragic elements set in London in the 1960s, which drew on his experiences as "a chronic alcoholic and resting actor, living in squalor" in Camden Town. more…

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    "Withnail and I" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/withnail_and_i_955>.

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