The Producers script
The Producers (1968)
Synopsis: The Producers is a 1967 American satirical comedy film written and directed by Mel Brooks and starring Zero Mostel, Gene Wilder, Dick Shawn, and Kenneth Mars. The film was Brooks's directorial debut, and he won an Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay. Although the release date was officially 1968, the premier took place in Pittsburgh on 22 November 1967. Decades later, the film was selected for preservation in the National Film Registry and placed eleventh on the AFI's 100 Years...100 Laughs list. It was later remade successfully by Brooks as an acclaimed Broadway stage musical, which itself was adapted for a 2005 feature film starring Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick.

RESUME ACTION.

BIALYSTOCK CRASHES INTO RADIATOR.

BIALYSTOCK:

Ohhhhhhhh.

5.

CUT TO LITTLE OLD LADY. SHE IS LYING PHONE ON THE DESK,

PREENING HERSELF AND PURRING.

LITTLE OLD LADY:

Meeow. Meeow. I wonder where Old

Tom is tonight? Meeow.

BIALYSTOCK, WITH GREAT WILL, PUSHES THE HATE OUT OF HIS FACE

AND REPLACES IT WITH SWEETNESS.

BIALYSTOCK:

Rowrrr.

BIALYSTOCK GLIDES IN TOM-CAT FASHION OVER TO HIS PREENING

PUSSY-CAT.

FREEZE-ACTION.

CREDIT.

RESUME ACTION.

BIALYSTOCK FINISHES CROSSING TO DESK, PUTS HIS FACE DOWN

NEAR HERS AND SOFTLY MEWS INTO HER EAR. SHE SUDDENLY LETS

OUT A FIERCE HOWL AS SHE REBUFFS HIM WITH A SAVAGE SWIPE OF

HER "PAW". BIALYSTOCK GRABS HIS STRICKEN FACE WITH BOTH

HANDS AND SHRIEKS.

BIALYSTOCK:

Aieeeeyiyiyiyiyi,

CLOSE-UP OF BIALYSTOCK'S PAIN-RIDDEN FEATURES.

STOP ACTION.

CREDIT.

RESUME ACTION.

BIALYSTOCK FALLS INTO THE CHAIR MOANING. SHE HOPS ON TO HIS

LAP. FROM HIS BREAST POCKET SHE TAKES A HANDKERCHIEF AND

TENDERLY DABS HIS CHEEK WITH IT.

LITTLE OLD LADY:

Oh, Bialy, Bialy, darling, did I

hurt you?

FREEZE-ACTION.

CREDIT.

RESUME ACTION.

6.

BIALYSTOCK:

My hand. My hand. I can't turn my

hand.

(he turns his hand)

THERE IS A RAPPING AT THE DOOR. WE HEAR IT, THEY DON'T.

LITTLE OLD LADY:

(taking his hand)

Don't worry. I'll kiss it and make

it well.

(she smothers his

hand with kissers)

BIALYSTOCK:

(trying to rescue his hand)

Enough. It's better. Please,

Lambchop, it's better. Stop.

You're hurting it again.

CUT TO DOOR. IT OPENS. LEO BLOOM ENTERS.

BLOOM:

(his forward motion

arrested by the

unbelievable scene)

How do you do. I mean ... Excuse

me ... I mean ...

BIALYSTOCK:

You mean ooops, don't you? Say

ooops and get out.

BLOOM:

I'll wait in the hall ...

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Mel Brooks

Melvin James Brooks is an American actor, comedian, filmmaker, composer and songwriter. He is known as a creator of broad film farces and comic parodies. more…

All Mel Brooks scripts | Mel Brooks Books

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"The Producers" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2017. Web. 21 Nov. 2017. <http://www.scripts.com/script/the_producers_918>.

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