The Lion King Page #2

ZAZU (O.S.)

Didn't your mother ever tell you not to play with your food?

SCAR:

Oh, Zazu. What do you want?

REVEAL Zazu, the horn bill we net in the opening scene. Zazu blends regal with ironic edge. He reveres his boss (King Mufasa) and disdains anyone he perceives to be a low-life cretin -- which is pretty much everybody but the King.

ZAZU:

I'm here to announce that King Mufasa's on his way. And you'd better have a good excuse for missing the ceremony this morning.

The little mouse escapes to freedom.

SCAR:

mock sad

Now look, Zazu. You've made me lose my lunch.

ZAZU:

You'll lose more than that when the king gets through with you. He's as mad as a hippo with a hernia.

Scar, licking his chops, advances on Zazu who backs away.

SCAR:

Ooooo. I quiver with fear.

ZAZU:

Now, Scar -- Don't look at me that way.

Scar continues stalking.

ZAZU:

Help!

Scar catches Zazu in his mouth. And CHOMPS his teeth shut. Mufasa enters, having witnessed what Scar just did.

MUFASA:

admonishing

Scar!

Scar, surprised, and with a bird bulge in his mouth:

SCAR:

Hmmm?

With that, Zazu's beak pokes out from Scar's lips. It looks like the mouth-within-a-mouth in "Alien."

ZAZU'S BEAK

Impeccable timing, Your Majesty.

MUFASA:

to a disobedient puppy

Drop him!

SCAR:

releasing Zazu

Plegh!

Zazu tumbles to the ground and shakes off.

SCAR:

to Mufasa

Why if it isn't my big brother, descending from on high to mingle among the commoners.

MUFASA:

Sarabi and I didn't see you at the presentation of Simba.

genuine

Is anything wrong?

SCAR:

insincere

That was today? Oh, I feel simply awful. Must have slipped my mind.

ZAZU:

Yes, well as slippery as your mind is, as the king's brother, you should have been first in line.

Scar nips at Zazu, who evades him.

SCAR:

I was first in line until the little hairball was born.

MUFASA:

That hairball is my son and your future king.

SCAR:

I shall practice my curtsy.

Scar abruptly turns to walk away. Mufasa calls after him:

MUFASA:

Don't turn your back on me, Scar!

Scar reels back around.

SCAR:

Oh, no, Mufasa. Perhaps you shouldn't turn your back on me.

MUFASA:

Is that a challenge?

Zazu ducks behind a rock.

SCAR:

pointed

Temper-temper.

butter wouldn't melt

A challenge? Oh, I wouldn't dream of it.

Zazu hops forward.

ZAZU:

Pity.

a beat

Why not?

SCAR:

Well, as far as brains go, I got the lion's share. But when it cones to brute strength, I'в afraid I'm in the shallow end of the gene pool.

Scar slinks away. Zazu and Mufasa watch him leave.

ZAZU:

There's one in every family, sire. Two in nine, actually. And they always manage to ruin special occasions.

As they walk off:

MUFASA:

What an I going to do with him?

Rate this script:4.0 / 36 votes