The Ladykillers Page #4

The cat backs away down a branch, arching its back and

hissing.

MRS. MUNSON

Don't upset him, now!

Dorr, on his stomach, inches after the cat, grunting:

DORR:

I wouldn't dream of it... harmless

little felix domesticus... Come to

G.H...

The branch breaks, hinging down to slam Dorr face-first into

the trunk, from where he drops the rest of the way to the

ground.

INT. MUNSON HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Othar's portrait, upside-down, seems to be looking bemusedly

down on us.

An OBJECTIVE ANGLE shows Dorr lying on the couch, a damp

washcloth on his forehead, eyes rolled back to look at the

picture.

Mrs. Munson is entering with a cup of tea. Dorr swings his

feet out to sit up and accept the tea.

DORR:

I thank you, madam, for your act of

kindness.

MRS. MUNSON

Well you let him out.

DORR:

I certainly did and I do apologize

no end. Allow me to present myself,

uh, formally:
Goldthwait Higginson

Dorr, Ph.D.

MRS. MUNSON

What, like Elmer?

DORR:

Beg your pardon, ma'am?

MRS. MUNSON

Fudd?

DORR:

No no, Ph.D. is a mark of academic

attainment. It is a degree of higher

learning bestowed, in my case, in

recognition of my mastery of the

antique languages of Latin and Greek.

I also hold a number of other advanced

degrees including the baccalaureate

from a school in Paris, France, called

the Sorbonne.

Munson chuckles.

MRS. MUNSON

Sore bone, well I guess that's

appropriate. You ever study at Bob

Jones University?

DORR:

I have not had that privilege.

MRS. MUNSON

It's a bible school, only the finest

in the country. I send them five

dollars every month.

DORR:

That's very gener--

MRS. MUNSON

I'm on their mailing list. I'm an

Angel.

DORR:

Indeed.

MRS. MUNSON

They list my name in the newsletter,

every issue. I got the literature

here, you wanna examine it.

DORR:

Perhaps when my head has recovered

from its... buffeting. Mrs. Munson,

are you at all curious as to why I

darkened your door, as the expression

has it, on this lovely camelia-scented

morn?

MRS. MUNSON

I was wondering, til you let Pickles

out. Then in all the excitement--

DORR:

I quite understand. The fact is that

I saw the sign on your window

advertising a room to let, and it is

the only such sign among the houses

of this charming, charming street.

MRS. MUNSON

Yeah, I got a room. I'm lookin' for

a quiet tenant. Fifteen dollars a

week

DORR:

I quite understand. Madam, you are

addressing a man who is quiet -- and

yet not quiet, if I may offer a

riddle...

He sets down the teacup and rises.

DORR:

...Perhaps you can show me the room,

Mrs. Munson, and allow me to explain.

MRS. MUNSON

Well you can see the room, but I

don't like double-talk.

Mrs. Munson precedes him...

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