The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Page #3

FORD:

C'mon. Let's go to the pub. He said they

won't destroy your house until they've

finished the beers.

ARTHUR:

Can we trust him?

FORD:

I'd trust him to the end of the Earth.

ARTHUR:

And how far's that?

FORD:

About twelve minutes away.

CUT TO:

6 INT. VILLAGE PUB - MIDDAY 6

Ford and Arthur enter the half-full pub. Ford hurries to

the bar. Arthur follows, cell phone to his ear.

FORD:

Six pints of bitter. And quickly. The

world's about to end.

BARMAN:

Oh yes, sir? Nice weather for it.

He starts to pull pints. Ford shoves bar peanuts into

his pockets while Arthur shouts into his phone...

ARTHUR:

Well, when does he get back from lunch?

Or is he going straight out for tea?!

He shuts the phone, sits, looking forlorn.

ARTHUR (CONT'D)

This is shaping up to be a crap day.

(CONTINUED)

6 6.

HHGG 3rd Revised Draft 8/8/03

CONTINUED:
6

FORD:

It's about to get a lot crappier.

BARMAN:

There you are, six pints.

Ford slaps down a £50 note. The barman's impressed.

FORD:

Keep the change. You've got ten minutes to

spend it.

Ford pushes three pints in front of Arthur.

ARTHUR:

Three? At lunchtime?

FORD:

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

ARTHUR:

Very deep. You should send that in to the

Reader's Digest. They've got a page for

people like you.

FORD:

Drink up.

ARTHUR:

Why three pints?

FORD:

Muscle relaxant.

(grabbing more peanuts)

And eat these. You'll need the salt.

ARTHUR:

What's going on. Ford?

FORD:

What would you say if I told you I wasn't

really from Guilford but from a small

planet somewhere in the vicinity of

Eetelgeuse?

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