Strangers on a Train Page #4

BRUNO:

That's it. Miriam Joyce Haines.

Played around a lot, I suppose?

GUY:

Let's not talk about it any more.

BRUNO:

(almost hopefully)

Maybe she'll make more trouble for

you.

GUY:

I don't think so.

BRUNO:

You mean you got enough on her to

get your divorce no matter what?

GUY:

Let's change subject, Bruno, can't

we?

BRUNO:

Okay, Guy. Want me to tell you one

of my ideas for murdering my father?

GUY:

(indicating the

detective novels)

You've been reading too many of these.

BRUNO:

(going right on)

You want to hear about the busted

light socket in the bathroom, or the

carbon monoxide in the garage?

GUY:

No. I may be old fashioned, but I

thought murder was against the law.

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BRUNO:

But not against the law of nature.

My theory is that everybody is a

potential murderer. Didn't you ever

want to kill somebody? Say one of

those useless fellows Miriam was

running around with?

GUY:

You can't go around killing people

just because you think they're

useless.

BRUNO:

Oh, what's a life or two? Some people

are bitter off dead, Guy. Take your -wife

and my father, for instance.

It reminds me of a wonderful idea

had once. I used to put myself to

sleep at night -- figuring it out.

Now, let's say you want to get rid

of your wife.

GUY:

Why?

BRUNO:

Let's say she refuses to give you a

divorce -

(raises a finger and

stops Guy's protest)

Let's say. You'd be afraid to kill

her because you'd get caught. And

what would trip you up? Motive.

Now here's the plan...

GUY:

I'm afraid I haven't time to listen.

BRUNO:

(ignoring the remark)

It's so simple, too. A couple of

fellows meet accidentally, like you

and me. No connection between them

at all. Never saw each other before.

Each of them has somebody he'd like

to get rid of, but he can't murder

the person he wants to get rid of.

He'll get caught. So they swap

murders.

GUY:

Swap murders?

Converted to PDF by www.screentalk.org 12.

BRUNO:

Each fellow does the other fellow's

murder. Then there is nothing to

connect them. The one who had the

motive isn't there. Each fellow

murders a total stranger. Like you

do my murder and I do yours.

GUY:

(with relief)

We're coming into my station.

BRUNO:

For example, your wife, my father.

Criss-cross.

GUY:

(sharply)

What?

BRUNO:

(with a smile)

We do talk the same language -- don't

we, Guy?

GUY:

(preparing to leave)

Sure, we talk the same language.

Thanks for the lunch.

BRUNO:

(beaming)

I'm glad you enjoyed it. I thought

the lamb chops were a little overdone

myself.

He holds out his hand. Guy is in a hurry but he shakes hands.

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