Robin Williams: Live on Broadway Page #4

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Brazilians are going: "Look, I'm playing soccer...

Look, I'm scoring!

And now I'm kicking the ball."

Soccer is kinda mellow, you know. Is a little passive

aggressive though.

I didn't do anything... What are you looking at?

It's not like hockey, when someone comes up with a stick and

goes:

"Bang, mother f***er!"

That's why there are no Spanish hockey players.

When a white guy takes a stick and goes...

"Motherf***er, I'm going to cut you off now!"

And you, Freddie Krugger b*tch, take off the mask, mother

f***er!

Coming in there! Katami!

Sometimes guys do this weird thing... They fall down and

pretend like...

I've been killed... I've been blinded...

There's nobody near me, huh? OK, I'm kidding!

And the referee comes over: "Yellow card!"

Two yellow cards. "Red card!"

Three cards. "Green card!"

And the referee is so sweet, too.

"What's your name? Turn around.

Why didn't you call me after the Mexico game ?

Not like football referees: "Too much commercial time"

Mad white man dancing on the field.

Moving away. Moving away.

In the World Cup they always claim there's bad refereeing,

someone may have been paid off.

Oh, sh*t, say it ain't so!

You're telling me that the Oscars are also political? F***

off!

There's a game mafia!

The mob's hand!

Fairy Godfather:
"Does this pistol make my ass look big?"

If you go to LA, there's a great greeting these people do:

"Love ya!"

"Love you!" "Hey, love you!"

The worst referee was in Winter Olympics with a French judge.

Once again, the French f***ed with us!

The Canadians skate perfectly. "We did it perfect, huh!"

And then the Russians they come and f*** up

and the French judge: "They f***ed up, I give it to them"

At that point I'm going: "Where's Tonya Harding when you need

her?"

Tonya would've been on that judge like sh*t on Velcro.

"Give me that medal, you French whore!"

"I won!"

Now we get to see Tanya Harding fight Paula Jones

in an all white trash weekend.

Trailer park Tuesday!

Tonya went right for the nose: "Not the nose. That's the

Clinton money!"

Next is gonna be Joey Butafuoco fighting John Wayne Bobbit.

There will be no hitting bellow the belt there, my friend.

F***, man, give it back! My balls are in the front row.

What's next? The Nixon's daughters belt for the library

money.

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