Robin Williams: Live on Broadway script
Synopsis: The fourth HBO stand-up special by Robin Williams.

Don't be afraid!

It's a nice day in New York, my people.

NY police have a catch and release program. Way to go!

Stop! OK, go on again!

You there! Get the fuck outta here!

I like NY on a day like today. For a while everything went

like you're OK.

People like to great new Yorkers: "Have a nice day, asshole!"

Fuck you, my friend! Enjoy your day!

But the most beautiful thing about a day like today in NY is

that the ladies take the twins for a walk!

Oh, yeah, the titties are out today!

On a hot day all the titties are out there. And God made them

go like...

Beautiful titties, all shapes, sizes and women running they

are going...

And then they hit a breeze and chicken's done!

Yeah, baby!

These are not like the titts in Vegas,

where even God goes: "I didn't make those!"

Fake titts are like nazis.

They don't laugh, they don't dance, they're just...

I'm walking here!

I've seen a woman turn and the titts stayed there.

It's like they don't have any teeth because they knock them

out.

I've seen titts that are really bad

with the nipples on the top. They look like Culroy.

When you go up Madison Avenue you see some hardcore surgery

like...

I'm so scared, but I can't express it.

These ladies had so much surgery are going:

"What are these lumps under my eyes?"

Those are your titts, madam!

- And what's this? - Don't ask, Mrs. Trotki!

This is good news for you.

And girls getting buttocks injections...?

- Look, I don't have any wrinkles. - You also have no

expression.

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Robin Williams

Robin McLaurin Williams was an American stand-up comedian and actor. Starting as a stand-up comedian in San Francisco and Los Angeles in the mid-1970s, he is credited with leading San Francisco's comedy renaissance. more…

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"Robin Williams: Live on Broadway" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2017. Web. 23 Nov. 2017. <http://www.scripts.com/script/robin_williams:_live_on_broadway_1112>.

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