Man on the Moon Page #4
ANDY (AS FOREIGN MAN) (cont'd)
But -- talking about the terrible
things:
My wife. Take my wife,please take her.
Yikes. A few NERVOUS LAUGHS.
Andy gestures, as if they got the joke.
ANDY (AS FOREIGN MAN) (cont'd)
No really, I am only foolink. I
love my wife very much. But she
don't know how to cook. You know,
one time, she make a steak and
mashed potato. Ehh, and the night
before, she make spaghetti and
meatballs. Her cooking is so bad...
is terrible.
People are embarrassed. Some avert their eyes. A couple
hipsters laugh mockingly.
George leans forward. Andy wipes the sweat from his brow.
ANDY (AS FOREIGN MAN) (cont'd)
Right now, I would like to do for
you some imitations. So first, I
would like to imitate Archie Bunker.
(no change in his
voice)
"You stupid, everybody ees stupid!
Ehh, get, get out of my chair
Meathead... go in the, eh, Dingbat
get into the kitchen, making the
food! Ehh, everybody ees stupid! I
don't like nobody, ees so stupid!"
Tank you veddy much.
(pleased, he proudly
bows)
Now I would like to imitate Jimmy
Carter, the President of the United
States.
(no change in his
voice)
"Hello, I am Jimmy Carter, the
President of the United States."
Some people BOO and walk out. A few giggle, getting into
the groove.
George is intrigued.
ANDY (AS FOREIGN MAN) (cont'd)
And now... I would like to imitate
the Elvis Presley.
A woman LAUGHS caustically. Andy grins stupidly, then turns
his back to us. He presses "Play" on a CASSETTE RECORDER...
and the THEME FROM 2001 starts playing.
House lights dim dramatically. With a flourish, Andy pulls
tape off his pants -- revealing rhinestones. He removes his
pink coat -- putting on a white jeweled jacket.
He combs his hair.
Then he brushes his hair.
Then he combs his hair some more.
Finally he picks up a guitar, strikes a pose -- and spins
around.
He is ELVIS. CONFIDENT. SEXY. LIP CURL. DEAD-ON PERFECT.
Vegas Elvis INTRO MUSIC suddenly blasts. Andy/Elvis
swaggers stage left and takes a bow. Then he goes stage
right and takes a bow. Then he returns stage left for
another bow.
Music STOPS.
ANDY (AS ELVIS)
Thank you very much.
Wow. Flabbergasted, people APPLAUD. This man is Elvis.
Suddenly -- "JAILHOUSE ROCK" guitar kicks in.
ANDY (AS ELVIS) (cont'd)
(SINGING)
"Warden threw a party
In the county jail!
Prison band was there
And they BEGAN to WAIL!"
ANGLE - GEORGE
He is astonished. George cannot quite figure out what's
going on... but he wants in.
He waves Budd over. Budd leans down, and George WHISPERS.
GEORGE:
Pst. What's the story with this
guy?
BUDD:
I think he's Lithuanian. None of us
can understand him.
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"Man on the Moon" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/man_on_the_moon_718>.
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