M*A*S*H Page #2

DUKE:

You got directions?

HAWKEYE:

Ayuh, only it's early, I need a drink

to wake me up.

DUKE:

I got some.

He turns around and opens his barracks bag, where he finds a

pint bottle conveniently located near the top.

HAWKEYE:

Make it yourself, or is it real?

DUKE:

Georgia, where I come from, it's

real if you make it yourself. But I

been buying from the Yankee Government

since they put me in this soldier

suit and give me a rate.

HAWKEYE:

Tax-free booze. It's about all you

can say for army life.

DUKE:

(passing bottle)

Where you from with that crazy way

of talking?

HAWKEYE:

Crabapple Cove. Maine.

DUKE:

Damn! That must be about as far north

as you can get.

HAWKEYE:

Pretty near. What do you know about

the outfit we're going to?

DUKE:

C.O. is Colonel Blake. Lieutenant

Colonel Henry Braymore Blake. One of

them regular army clowns. Push you

around so it's hard to get any decent

work done.

HAWKEYE:

We got to head them off, right at

the start. Push them around first.

They have exchanged the bottle a couple of times. In the act

of raising it to his mouth, Hawkeye looks toward the hospital

doorway.

HAWKEYE:

I think we already caught their eye.

Two MPs have emerged from the hospital administration offices

and are heading toward them. Hawkeye goes into action quickly,

starting the Jeep engine.

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