Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back script
Synopsis: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back is a 2001 American comedy film directed, written by, and starring Kevin Smith as Silent Bob, the fifth to be set in his View Askewniverse, a growing collection of characters and settings that developed out of his cult favorite Clerks. It focuses on the two eponymous characters, played respectively by Jason Mewes and Smith. The film features a large number of cameo appearances by famous actors and directors. The title and logo for Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back are direct references to The Empire Strikes Back.

TEEN 2

Yeah. And he said you're the bitch and you're the butch. Oh, sorry-- the Leia and the

Luke.

DANTE:

I'm the bitch?!

RANDAL:

Well if we were gay, that's how I'd see it.

DANTE:

Would you shut up?!

TEEN 1

(to TEEN 2)

Holy shit, dude. The honeymoon's over.

DANTE:

We're not married to each other.

TEEN 1

Well, sure. Not in the eyes of the state or any real church, Skywalker.

RANDAL:

(heading for the phone)

That does it. I'm gonna do something about those two. I shoulda done a long time ago

TEEN 2

In a galaxy far, far away!

TEEN 1

(exiting)

May the Foreskin be with you. Hand Jabba the Hutt.

RANDAL:

(into phone)

Yeah, I want to report a couple of drug dealers out in front of the Quick Stop.

EXT. QUICK STOP--DAY

Jay and Silent Bob are thrown against the wall outside by a COP, who frisks them.

JAY:

What the Fuck, Serpico? What'd we do?

COP:

We got a report that two guys were hanging around outside the stores, selling pot?

JAY:

We don't smoke pot, yo.

Teen 1 enters and hands Jay rolling papers.

TEEN 1

Here're the rolling papers you wanted for your pot. And your change. Thanks.

(getting in Jay's face)

And The Time sucks ass!

Teen 1 races off.Jay and Bob move to follow, but the Cop stops them, grabbing the

rolling papers out of Jay's hand. He eyeballs the pair.

COP:

No put, hunh? What do you need this for?

JAY:

What? I got a wiping problem. I stick these little pieces of paper over my brown-eye, and

bam--no shit stains in my undies.

(unbuttoning pants)

You don't believe me? Lemme show you.

Jay drops his pants and leans against the wall, looking back over his shoulder.

JAY:

Just spread my cheeks a little and you can see the fucking stink nuggets--

COP:

Pull up your pants up sir, Now!

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Kevin Smith

Kevin Patrick Smith (born August 2, 1970) is an American filmmaker, actor, comedian, public speaker, comic book writer, author, and podcaster. He came to prominence with the low-budget comedy Clerks (1994), which he wrote, directed, co-produced, and acted in as the character Silent Bob of stoner duo "Jay & Silent Bob". Jay and Silent Bob have appeared in Smith's follow-up films Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma, and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back which were mostly all set in his home state of New Jersey. While not strictly sequential, the films frequently featured crossover plot elements, character references, and a shared canon described by fans as the "View Askewniverse", named after his production company View Askew Productions, which he co-founded with Scott Mosier. more…

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"Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2017. Web. 18 Nov. 2017. <http://www.scripts.com/script/jay_and_silent_bob_strike_back_877>.

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