Hitch Page #3

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- What'd you say?

Do you want me to go get them

and bring them over here?

No, don't do that.

Are you saying you don't wanna talk to them

because you can't go home with them?

I'm just trying to keep my head above water.

- Have you heard of the Date Doctor?

- Urban myth.

- Really?

- Absolutely.

I was hoping he also helped women.

Casey, you're not sick. You're single.

You just have to relax and enjoy the ride.

I haven't been ridden in months.

On that happy note, I'm gonna go see

if anybody interesting came in tonight.

- You mean, besides me.

- Right.

Bye.

I'll go get those girls,

bring them over here...

and we'll have a conversation

like human beings.

Then you're gonna home,

and I'll take them back to my apartment.

Well, that sounds like fun for me.

But you might want to get in line, pal.

- Hey, girl.

- Hey, how are you?

Hey, baby, can I get a couple Coronas

at the pool table, please? Thanks.

Excuse me.

Lime wedges in the bottle's fine.

Hey, a**hole, I don't work here.

I'm sorry. The paramedics will have to come

to get my foot out of my mouth, sweetheart.

Just don't let it happen again.

- I knew you didn't work here.

- You did?

How else was I supposed to get you away

from all those guys?

Why would you want to do that?

Some guys naturally develop a comfort

with the opposite sex.

They like women, women like them.

Everything flows naturally.

Back in college, I was just not one of them.

I seemed to lack the basic understanding...

that my peers just intuitively grasped.

But like any late bloomer,

I was eager to make up for lost time.

Her name was Cressida Baylor.

Can you tell me

where the registration building is?

And my life would never be the same.

- I'm Alex.

- Cressida.

What we had was beautiful.

I love you.

I love you so much.

I love you, too, Alex.

I know you don't love me

as much as I love you.

But that's okay.

I'm just glad you love me at all.

In retrospect,

I guess I may have come on a little strong.

But the experience taught me a lot.

Cressida!

What are you doing?

I'm sorry, Alex.

But I love you. What did I do wrong?

Just tell me what I did wrong.

You're doing it right now.

Alex, I'm sorry.

And it's an education

I feel obliged to pass on to my fellow men.

Because with no guile and no game,

there's no girl.

If ever a man born was without game...

it was Albert Brennaman.

My business is 100% referral

and, thus far, untraceable.

And if there's one thing I've learned...

when you orchestrate, coordinate,

and otherwise mess with fate...

it's best to fly under the radar.

I hope she's single

'cause I don't do break-ups.

Hi. Thank you for seeing me.

Yeah, no.

I mean, she just got out of a relationship.

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