Galaxy Quest script
Galaxy Quest (1999)
Synopsis: The stars of a 1970s sci-fi show - now scraping a living through re-runs and sci-fi conventions - are beamed aboard an alien spacecraft. Believing the cast's heroic on-screen dramas are historical documents of real-life adventures, the band of aliens turn to the ailing celebrities for help in their quest to overcome the oppressive regime in their solar system.

But a STAGEHAND in the wings signals for Guy to "stretch."

GUY:

But first... What is a "hero"? Let's take a look at a few more

clips...

4BACKSTAGE

Here we meet the REAL LIFE ACTORS all dressed as their TV alter

egos... GWEN DEMARCO, beautiful, in a sexy and improbable body

suit. ALEXANDER DANE, (DR. LAZARUS) wearing green alien

prosthetic makeup. FRED KWAN, calm, sitting on an

apple box reading the paper. TOMMY "LAREDO" WEBBER, the youngest

of the group.

TOMMY:

Where the hell is he? An hour and a half late. An hour and a

half!

GWEN:

(looks through curtain)

This is great! They're going to start eating each other out

there.

ALEXANDER (OFFSCREEN)

He's a twit!

TOMMY:

Oh, and did you hear he booked another fan appearance without us?

GWEN:

You're kidding. When for?

TOMMY:

Tomorrow morning, before the store opening.

ALEXANDER (OFFSCREEN)

He's a miserable twit!

GWEN:

The guy is terminally selfish!

FRED:

He ate my sandwich.

GWEN AND TOMMY:

What?

FRED:

A month ago, he ate my sandwich.

TOMMY:

And he ate Fred's SANDWICH!

Gwen turns to notice Alexander staring into a makeup mirror, eyes

roaming over his alien green makeup and scaly rubber features

with a mournful expression.

GWEN:

Oh Alex, get away from that thing...

ALEXANDER:

Dear God.... How did I come to this?

5/4/99(GOLDENROD)

TOMMY:

Not again...

ALEXANDER:

I played Richard III...

FRED:

"Five curtain calls...

ALEXANDER:

...Five curtain calls! I was an ACTOR once, damn it. Now look at

me... LOOK AT ME.

TOMMY:

Settle down, Alex...

ALEXANDER:

No. I can't go out there! I won't say that ridiculous catch

phrase one more time. I won't. I can't!

GWEN:

At least you had a PART. You had a character people loved! My TV

Guide interview was six paragraphs about this body suit. About

my legs. How did I perfect my trademark sidesaddle pose? Nobody

ever bothered to ask what I DO on the ship...

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David Howard

Graduated from Southern Utah University with a bachelor's degree in theatre. He is also the holder of an master of fine arts degree from the University of Utah and a master's degree in theatre from Penn State University. more…

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"Galaxy Quest" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2017. Web. 19 Nov. 2017. <http://www.scripts.com/script/galaxy_quest_643>.

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