Frasier Page #2
Season #1- TV-PG
- Year:
- 1993
- 22 min
- 1,428 Views
Niles:
Well, I know this isn't going to be anyone's favouritesolution, [opens his briefcase] but I took the liberty of
checking out a few convalescent homes for him. [puts some
brochures on the table]
Frasier:
Oh Niles, a home? He's still a young man!Niles:
Well, you certainly can't take care of him -you're justgetting your new life together.
Frasier:
Absolutely. Besides, we were never simpatico.Niles:
Of course, I can't take care of him.Frasier:
Oh yes, yes, of course, of course... why?Niles:
Because Dad doesn't get along with Maris.Frasier:
Who does?Niles:
I thought you liked my Maris!Frasier:
I do. I... I like her from a distance. You know, the wayyou like the sun. Maris is like the sun. Except without
the warmth.
Niles:
Well then, we're agreed about what to do with Dad. [reads abrochure] "Golden Acres: We Care So You Don't Have To."
Frasier:
It says that?Niles:
Well, it might as well!Frasier:
Alright, I'll make up the spare bedroom.Niles:
Oh, you're a good son, Frasier.Frasier:
Oh God, I am, aren't I?Downcast, he cradles his head in one hand. The waitress arrives with
their coffees.
Waitress:
Two cafe supremos. Anything to eat?Frasier:
[depressed] No. I seem to have lost my appetite.Niles:
[perky] I'll have a large piece of cheesecake!Frasier glares at Niles.
FADE TO:
THE FATHER:
Scene Three -Apartment
[N.B. The Apartment set was built on the same soundstage at Paramount
Studios that housed the set of "Cheers."]
Frasier is playing the piano. The doorbell rings; he stops playing,
shuts the keyboard lid, and disconsolately trudges to the door. Just
before opening it, he casts a melodramatic gaze over his apartment:
the last moment of solitude. Then, he opens the door.
Frasier:
[upbeat] Hi! [laughs]5 of12
Niles enters; he is carrying two suitcases.
Niles:
We finally made it!Martin Crane, their father, hobbles in on a cane. He does not look
at all enthusiastic.
Frasier:
Ah Dad, Dad, welcome to your new home! [hugs Martin]Gee, you look great!
Martin:
Don't B.S. me, I do not look great. I spent Monday on thebathroom floor. You can still see the tile marks on my face.
[sits on the couch]
Niles:
[to Frasier] Gives you some idea about the ride over in thecar. [puts down the suitcases]
Frasier:
Well, er, here we are...Martin, who has propped his leg on a table, accidentally kicks a
glass ornament off of the side; Frasier catches it.
Frasier:
Well, rest assured the refrigerator is stocked with yourfavourite beer, Ballantines, [places the glass ornament on
a small folding table] and we've got plenty of hot links
and coleslaw...
Niles:
Mmm!
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