Ferris Bueller's Day Off Page #2

FERRIS:

They bought it.

The MTV theme music ROARS IN.

9 CU. TV SCREEN 9

The TV at the foot of Ferris' bed. The MTV logo is playing.

10 INT. BEDROOM 10

Ferris yanks open the drapes. The pall of the sickroom

disappears in the brilliant glow of morning sunlight.

FERRIS:

Incredible! One of the worst performances

of my career and they never doubted it

for a second.

(looks out the window)

What a beautiful day!

He turns from the window.

FERRIS:

Parents always fall for the clammy hands.

It's physical evidence of illness. It's

a good, non-specific symptom. Parents are

generally pretty hip to the fever scams.

And to make them work you have to go a hundred

and one, hundred and two. You get a nervous

mother and you end up in a doctor's office

and that's worse than school.

He flips on his stereo and fills the room with the MTV

broadcast. A NEW SONG begins.

FERRIS:

Fake a stomach cramp and when you're

doubled over, moaning and wailing, just

lick your palms. It's a little stupid

and childish but then so if high school.

Right?

He equalizes the sound a little.

FERRIS:

This is my ninth sick day with semester.

If I go for ten, I'm probably going to

have to barf up a lung. So, I absolutely

must make this one count.

He exits into the hallway.

11 INT. BATHROOM 11

Ferris walks into the bathroom. It's littered with Jean's

debris. He turns on the shower water.

FERRIS:

I don't care if you're fifty five

or seven, everybody needs a day off

now and then. It's a beautiful day.

How can I be expected to handle

high school?

He bends down OUT OF FRAME as he loses his briefs. He pops

up.

FERRIS:

I do actually have a test. That wasn't

bullshit.

He steps into the shower. Through the pebbled glass of the

shower door we see Ferris' outline.

FERRIS:

That I care about it was.

12 INT. BATHROOM. SHOWER STALL. 12

Inside the shower. Ferris' hair is standing straight up.

It's moulded into a fin with shampoo.

FERRIS:

It's on European socialism. I mean,

really. What's the point? I'm not

European. I don't plan to be European.

So, who gives a sh*t if they're socialists?

They could be fascist anarchists and it

still wouldn't change the fact that I

don't own a car.

He turns the shower head around and uses it like a

microphone.

FERRIS:

(sings)

WELL SHAKE IT UP, BABY,

TWIST AND SHOUT...

13 INT. HALLWAY. LATER 13

Ferris comes out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around

his waist. He's drying his hair with another of a different

color.

FERRIS:

Not that I condone fascism. Or

and "isms". "Isms", in my opinion

are not good. A person should not

believe in an "ism". He should

believe in himself. John Lennon

said it on his first solo album.

"I don't believe in Beatles, I

just believe in me." A good point

there. Afterall, he was the Walrus.

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