Fawlty Towers Page #4

Good, good, good.

How would you like to hear about things my end? Up to your usual standard, I think I could say A few holes in the floor The odd door missing, but nothing you can't be sued for.

- Good morning.

- I beg your pardon? - Good morning.

- One moment, please.

Did you say, "Good morning?" - Sí.

- I see.

What are you going to do now? Qué? What you do now? I serve breakfast.

Let's see you, then.

Sí.

- Where is door? - A-ha.

Door is gone.

Door was here! Where? Here? Or here? Or here? - Morning, Fawlty.

- Morning, Major.

I'm so sorry, but I'm afraid the dining room door seems to have disappeared.

Oh, yes, so it has.

It used to be there.

I was silly enough to leave the hotel for a few minutes These things happen, you know? I wonder where it's got to.

Don't worry, it's bound to turn up.

Have the newspapers arrived yet? Not yet, Major.

Manuel, would you please show the Major how to get into the dining room via the kitchen? Is difficult.

Major, will you please show Manuel how to get into the dining room via the kitchen? Yes, of course.

Come here.

Come on.

Now, look here, O'Reilly, I want my dining room door put back and this other one taken away by 1:00, do you understand? No, I don't want to debate about it.

If you're not over here in 20 minutes with my door, I shall come over there and insert a large garden gnome in you.

Good day.

I'm sorry, but my men won't work on Sunday.

That's the way it is.

There's nothing I can do about it.

How long is it going to take you? I'm working as fast as I can.

It had better be fast enough.

She's here in four hours.

- Tea up.

- What? I brewed a cup for him.

He hasn't got time to drink that now.

- Biscuits? - These look good.

Give them to me.

Will you get on with it? Look, this lot here an hour and a half.

This one easy lick of paint, lick of paint, lick of paint, one hour.

- What time is it now? - Ten to 9:00.

All right, 10 to 9:00 and two and a half hours is plenty of time.

Give us a biscuit.

Not until you've done the door.

Polly, take them away.

You can have that when you've finished the door, too.

The trouble with you, is that you worry too much.

Keep it up like this, you'll have a stroke before you're 50.

- Stone dead you'll be.

- Suits me.

That's a dreadful thing to say.

Not at all.

I'll get a bit of peace.

Don't be so morbid.

The good Lord made the world so we could all enjoy ourselves.

My wife enjoys herself, I worry.

If the good Lord meant us to worry he would have given us things to worry about.

He has! My wife! She will be back here in four hours, and she can kill a man at 10 paces with one blow of her tongue.

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