Fawlty Towers script
Fawlty Towers  Season #1 Episode #2 (1975)
Synopsis: Fawlty Towers is a BBC television sitcom that was first broadcast on BBC2 in 1975 and 1979. 12 episodes were made (2 series, each of 6 episodes). The show was created and written by John Cleese and Connie Booth, who both also starred in the show; they were married at the time of series 1 but divorced before recording series 2. One of the best loved shows in British popular culture, it was ranked number one in a list of the 100 Greatest British Television Programmes drawn up by the British Film Institute in 2000.

We're stuck with it, I suppose.

Would you give me the stapler? - If you don't go on at me.

- The stapler.

Sorry.

What's the matter with you today? I didn't get much sleep last night.

We are leaving you in charge.

I didn't do it to spite you, I promise.

Good, you won't feel so tired, then.

Fawlty Towers.

- Basil.

- Who is it? It's Mr.

O'Reilly.

That's odd.

It must be about the garden wall.

Hello, O'Reilly? When are you coming to finish our garden wall? We are tired of having that pile of bricks blocking I told you not to call.

My wife thinks Stubbs is doing the doors.

What time will they be here, then? All right, 4:00.

If there are any problems tell your men to get Polly to call me.

Do you understand? Next week's definite, is it? That would be nice, won't it? We've waited for that wall about as long as Hadrian.

No, Hadrian.

The Emperor Hadrian.

It doesn't matter.

I'll explain next week.

Thank you so much.

Goodbye.

You don't really believe all that? We've been waiting four months.

Why should he do it now? - I think he will this time.

- If you had used Stubbs - We'd have had a huge bill.

- You get what you pay for.

O'Reilly's a cut-price, cock-up artist.

- Oh, Sybil.

- With Stubbs you may pay a little more A "little more"? Yes, but he does a really professional job and he does it when he says he will.

You'll see.

When's he coming? About 4:00, I think.

You're going to wear that jacket? Yes, I am, thank you, dear.

You just haven't a clue, have you? You wouldn't understand.

It's called style.

Yoo-hoo! They're here.

How fabulous.

Do try to be agreeable this weekend.

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John Cleese

John Marwood Cleese (born 27 October 1939) is an English actor, voice actor, screenwriter, producer, and comedian. He achieved success at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe and as a scriptwriter and performer on The Frost Report. In the late 1960s, he co-founded Monty Python, the comedy troupe responsible for the sketch show Monty Python's Flying Circus and the four Monty Python films: And Now for Something Completely Different, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Life of Brian and The Meaning of Life. more…

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