Doctor who the unquiet dead Page #3

Season #1 Episode #3

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[Outside the theatre]

ROSE:
What're you doing?!

GWYNETH:
Oh, it's a tragedy, miss. Don't worry yourself. Me and the master will deal with it. The fact is, this poor lady's been taken with the brain fever and we have to get her to the infirmary.

ROSE:
She's cold. She's dead! Oh, my God, what'd you do to her?

(Sneed sneaks up behind Rose and puts a pad of cloth over her mouth. She struggles briefly then passes out.)

GWYNETH:
What did you do that for?

SNEED:
She's seen too much. Get her in the hearse. Legs.

[Theatre]

(The blue entity flies into a gas light.)

DOCTOR:
Gas! It's made of gas.

[Outside the theatre]

DOCTOR:
Rose!

DICKENS:
You're not escaping me, sir. What do you know about that hobgoblin, hmm? Projection on glass, I suppose. Who put you up to it?

DOCTOR:
Yeah, mate. Not now, thanks. Oi, you! Follow that hearse!

(The Doctor gets into a nearby carriage.)

DRIVER:
I can't do that, sir.

DOCTOR:
Why not?

DICKENS:
I'll tell you why not. I'll give you a very good reason why not. Because this is my coach.

DOCTOR:
Well, get in, then. Move!

[Coach]

(The driver cracks the whip and the carriage moves down the street.)

DOCTOR:
Come on, you're losing them.

DRIVER:
Everything in order, Mister Dickens?

DICKENS:
No! It is not!

DOCTOR:
What did he say?

DICKENS:
Let me say this first. I'm not without a sense of humour.

DOCTOR:
Dickens?

DICKENS:
Yes.

DOCTOR:
Charles Dickens?

DICKENS:
Yes.

DOCTOR:
The Charles Dickens?

DRIVER:
Should I remove the gentleman, sir?

DOCTOR:
Charles Dickens? You're brilliant, you are. Completely one hundred percent brilliant. I've read them all. Great Expectations, Oliver Twist and what's the other one, the one with the ghost?

DICKENS:
A Christmas Carol?

DOCTOR:
No, no, no, the one with the trains. The Signal Man, that's it. Terrifying! The best short story ever written. You're a genius.

DRIVER:
You want me to get rid of him, sir?

DICKENS:
Er, no, I think he can stay.

DOCTOR:
Honestly, Charles. Can I call you Charles? I'm such a big fan.

DICKENS:
A what? A big what?

DOCTOR:
Fan. Number one fan, that's me.

DICKENS:
How exactly are you a fan? In what way do you resemble a means of keeping oneself cool?

DOCTOR:
No, it means fanatic, devoted to. Mind you, I've got to say, that American bit in Martin Chuzzlewit, what's that about? Was that just padding or what? I mean, it's rubbish, that bit.

DICKENS:
I thought you said you were my fan.

DOCTOR:
Ah, well, if you can't take criticism. Go on, do the death of Little Nell, it cracks me up. No, sorry, forget about that. Come on, faster!

DICKENS:
Who exactly is in that hearse?

DOCTOR:
My friend. She's only nineteen. It's my fault. She's in my care, and now she's in danger.

DICKENS:
Why are we wasting my time talking about dry old books? This is much more important. Driver, be swift! The chase is on!

DRIVER:
Yes, sir!

DOCTOR:
Attaboy, Charlie.

DICKENS:
Nobody calls me Charlie.

DOCTOR:
The ladies do.

DICKENS:
How do you know that?

DOCTOR:
I told you, I'm your number one

DICKENS:
Number one fan.

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