Detectorists Page #4

Season #2 Episode #13

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The policeman wanders over.

POLICEMAN:

Afternoon sir.

ANDY:

Hello.

POLICEMAN:

Do you have a child in this school

sir?

ANDY:

Pardon?

POLICEMAN:

Do you have a son or daughter who

attends this school?

ANDY:

No, no, I don’t have any kids.

POLICEMAN:

Right. Just taking a few photos?

Andy hasn’t caught on yet.

ANDY:

Um, no, I was checking my messages.

POLICEMAN:

Can I ask why you’re here?

ANDY:

I’m waiting for my girlfriend.

She’ll be out soon.

POLICEMAN:

What class?

ANDY:

Um, Chaffinch class I think.

POLICEMAN:

I think all the pupils from

Chaffinch class have gone.

ANDY:

What? She’s the teacher, she not...

she’s their teacher.

Detectorists - Episode 2 - 13.

He spots Becky coming out the gates, she waves.

ANDY:

Here she is.

POLICEMAN:

Rightyoh sir, it’s just you were

making a couple of the mums nervous.

Andy looks over to where a bunch of mums are talking about

him. The policeman wanders back to reassure them.

Becky approaches.

BECKY:

Hullo. This is a nice surprise.

ANDY:

Good day?

BECKY:

Yeah, not bad.

ANDY:

Do I look like a pedophile?

BECKY:

What?

ANDY:

I’ve just been questioned by a

policeman because I was making the

mums nervous.

Becky cracks up, she thinks this is hilarious.

BECKY:

What were you doing?

ANDY:

Nothing! What do you think I was

doing? I was just sitting there,

waiting for you.

BECKY:

You have got a bit of a look about

you.

ANDY:

What sort of look?

BECKY:

Well I’d have said it was more drug

dealer than pedophile.

ANDY:

Oh, that’s probably what it was.

I feel better now.

Detectorists - Episode 2 - 14.

BECKY:

Yeah, don’t worry about it.

206 EXT. PARK - DAY

206

Andy & Becky are walking home through a park.

ANDY:

Lance is not my boyfriend.

BECKY:

He worships you!

ANDY:

No he doesn’t, he thinks I’m a wet

blanket.

BECKY:

Maybe he’s more astute than I give

him credit for.

ANDY:

Cute. I think he’s lonely.

He says he wants to get the old band

back together.

BECKY:

Were you in a band?

ANDY:

Apparently.

BECKY:

What were you called?

ANDY:

Can’t remember.

He wants us to do one of his songs

at The White Horse next Thursday. *

Can you come?

BECKY:

It’s a school night. I’ll have

marking to do.

ANDY:

Bugger.

BECKY:

What’s brought this on then?

Is he having a crisis?

ANDY:

I think he’s trying to impress

Maggie.

Detectorists - Episode 2 - 15.

BECKY:

Oh dear. He needs to move on.

What’s the song like?

ANDY:

Haven’t heard it yet. Could be

excruciating. Could be really

embarrassing. Please come?

BECKY:

You’re really selling it. I’d truly

love to come but I’ll have thirty

stories to read. Imagine their

little faces when I tell them I

couldn’t be bothered and went to the

pub instead.

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