Detectorists script
Detectorists  Season #2 Episode #13 (2014)
Synopsis: Detectorists is a British single camera television sitcom series which was first broadcast on BBC Four on 2 October 2014. It is written and directed by Mackenzie Crook, who also stars in the production alongside Toby Jones. It is set in small fictional town of Danebury in northern Essex. The plot revolves around the lives, loves and detecting ambitions of Andy and Lance, members of the Danebury Metal Detecting Club (DMDC). The series won a BAFTA award at the 2015 British Academy Television Awards for Best Situation Comedy.

ANDY:

What?! When will you learn to say

‘no’?

LANCE:

I don’t want to say ‘no’, I like

helping her.

ANDY:

Alright, I’ll go and see him. But

remember I don’t have any of your

charm and charisma.

LANCE:

Do your best.

203 EXT. BISHOP’S FARM, FARMHOUSE - DAY

Andy approaches Bishop’s run down farmhouse and knocks at

the door.

Detectorists - Episode 2 - 7.

Immediately a commotion starts inside with shouting and

furniture being toppled. As in episode one, we never see or

hear the dogs he is apparently yelling at.

BISHOP (V.O.)

QUIET! For god’s sake! Idiot

animals! Get Down!

Eventually the door opens and Bishop steps out. *

BISHOP:

Yes?

ANDY:

Hello Mr. Bishop it’s me. I came with

my friend to ask about detecting on

your land.

BISHOP:

Ah yes! The metal detectors!

ANDY:

Detectorists.

BISHOP:

Have you found something?

ANDY:

Not yet Mr. Bishop...

BISHOP:

Larry. *

ANDY:

Not yet Larry but we were wondering *

whether you’d mind not giving

permission to anyone else to search

your land?

BISHOP:

Right.

ANDY:

It’s just that there’s a contingency

of rogue detectorists out there...

BISHOP:

Rogues?

ANDY:

Yep, ‘treasure hunters’.

(pause)

Nighthawks.

BISHOP:

Nighthawks?

Detectorists - Episode 2 - 8.

ANDY:

Detectorists who have quite

literally turned to the dark side of

the force. They come under the cover

of night and rob important sites of

their artefacts.

BISHOP:

Good God!

ANDY:

I know. Despicable.

BISHOP:

Tell you what I remembered after

you’d gone.

There were some things ploughed up

years ago that you might be

interested in.

ANDY:

What sort of things?

BISHOP:

Well, I don’t know, trinkets, looked

like costume jewelry to me.

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Mackenzie Crook

Paul James "Mackenzie" Crook (born 29 September 1971) is an English actor, director, comedian and BAFTA-winning writer. He is best known for playing Gareth Keenan in The Office, Ragetti in the Pirates of the Caribbean films, and Orell in the HBO series Game of Thrones, and is the creator and star of BBC Four's Detectorists. more…

All Mackenzie Crook scripts | Mackenzie Crook Books

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"Detectorists" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2017. Web. 21 Nov. 2017. <http://www.scripts.com/script/detectorists_1039>.

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