Detectorists Page #3

Season #2 Episode #13

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BISHOP:

Quite mad!

ANDY:

Yep... insane.

BISHOP:

Well, cheerio then, I’ll keep my

eyes peeled for those things.

Bishop turns a walks off, swinging a dog leash. Andy watches

him go.

204 I/E. NEW AGE SHOP - DAY

Lance is helping Maggie carry some large boxes from a van

into the shop.

MAGGIE:

Oh that’s lovely Lance! How

exciting!

LANCE:

Well, I thought, ‘nothing to lose’.

MAGGIE:

I always said you should do

something with your music didn’t I?

LANCE:

You did.

MAGGIE:

I used to love it when you played

your mandolin. Reminded me of

Kermit.

LANCE:

Kermit plays the banjo.

MAGGIE:

How exciting though!

LANCE:

You think you can come?

MAGGIE:

Definitely.

Detectorists - Episode 2 - 10.

They deposit the last of the boxes in the shop. Lance reads

the label on one of them.

LANCE:

What is all of this? It says on the

box, ‘Mixed Spiritual’.

MAGGIE:

Yeah it’s spiritual stuff. Mixed.

Tarot cards, dream-catchers, resin

dragons. There’s this massive

warehouse out by Stansted. You buy

it buy the weight. It’s cheap but

you don’t know what you’re going to

get.

LANCE:

A spiritual lucky dip.

MAGGIE:

Kind of yeah.

Tony appears from the back room, hair messy and wearing a

grubby dressing gown.

TONY:

Oh hello Lance, nice to see you. She

got you slaving?

LANCE:

Tony. Didn’t realise you were here.

You not lending a hand?

TONY:

I can’t. With my herniated discs.

LANCE:

Gutted.

MAGGIE:

Lance has invited us to a folk night

at The White Horse next week. *

Damn.

TONY:

Sounds good.

Damn it.

MAGGIE:

Lance is doing a gig.

LANCE:

It’s not a gig. I might do a song,

haven’t decided yet. Probably won’t.

Detectorists - Episode 2 - 11.

TONY:

Alright Lance! Rock and roll! What’s

the song about?

LANCE:

Nothing.

TONY:

Nothing? What’s it called?

LANCE:

(ignoring him)

I better get going if that’s

everything Mags.

MAGGIE:

Alright love thanks. Oh, and are you

still ok to take my mum to bingo?

LANCE:

Yeah ok.

(to Tony)

You not around?

TONY:

No. Football.

LANCE:

Oh right. You playing?

TONY:

Watching.

LANCE:

Right. Portman Road?

TONY:

No, on TV.

LANCE:

Right.

MAGGIE:

Thanks love. You know how she loves

her bingo.

LANCE:

Yeah. Ok. See ya.

Lance glances across at Tony who smiles.

TONY:

(is that a hint of a smug

grin?)

Bye bye Lance!

Detectorists - Episode 2 - 12.

205 EXT. OUTSIDE PRIMARY SCHOOL - DAY

Andy is sitting on a low wall opposite the entrance to a

primary school at home time. He is flicking through messages

on his phone and unaware that a mum is speaking to a

policeman close by and looking in his direction.

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