As Good as It Gets Page #4
- PG-13
- Year:
- 1997
- 139 min
- 1,373 Views
MOTHER:
Isn't that sweet.
CAROL:
Little blonde angle.
(to child,
affectionately)
Eat everything.
Melvin enters and moves past several empty tables to a
table towards the back and is obviously surprised to find
a MAN and WOMAN sitting at the table.
WOMAN:
It just came out of me. I said
you love me the way a remote
control loves a TV. As long as I
switch every time...
HER MALE COMPANION
Wonderful.
MELVIN:
People who talk in metaphors can
shampoo my crotch.
(on their look)
Eat up.
They turn away -- Melvin walks a few paces to the
waitress station where two waitresses, LISA and CAROL,
are talking.
LISA:
Pay me back next week.
CAROL:
I owe you. I told you today...
them's the rules. Oh, excuse me,
Melvin.
She puts two hands lightly on his waist to move him out
of the way. He gulps at the contact (since no one else
ever touches him) but covers his self-consciousness.
MELVIN:
I'm starving.
CAROL:
(firmly to Lisa)
Will you please take it?
Melvin intentionally moves a step in her path, with
stealth, so that she must touch him again to get him out
of the way...
LISA:
This way you take a cab home so
you have time to get ready for the
date.
CAROL:
"Ready" is not my problem.
She barks a mirthless though hearty laugh. If we could
read Melvin which we can't, we'd see him unsettled by the
date talk. To Carol he is as harmless as furniture.
CAROL:
(to Melvin)
Go sit down. You know you're not
allowed back here... Spencer's
more excited about it than I am...
He says, "Mom, I promise not to
get a fever or couch during your date."
The other WAITRESSES and the SHORT ORDER COOK all go
"awww ."
CAROL:
I know. He's just the best.
MELVIN:
I've got Jews at my table.
CAROL:
It's not your table. It's the
place's table. Behave. This
once, you can sit at someone
else's station.
The two waitresses signal their protests.
CAROL:
Or you can just wait your turn...
Melvin walks back into the restaurant proper... he hangs
near their table... his discomfort builds in this limbo...
then:
MELVIN:
How much more you got to eat?
Your appetite isn't as big as
your noses, is it?
WOMAN:
What?!!
MAN:
(to Woman)
Let's go --
MAN:
Let's leave. We're going.
Melvin sits down at the table -- and takes from his
pocket a plastic eating utensil set wrapped and sealed.
As he opens his utensils.
CAROL:
Bryan says he doesn't care how
long you've been coming you ever
act like this again you're barred
for life. I'm gonna miss the
excitement, but I'll handle it.
There is in Carol's attitude toward Melvin some
ingredient of self-satisfaction -- that she is the only
one in the place who can handle him. She starts to clear
the table.
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