Death to Smoochy Page #2

EXECUTIVE #4

Yeah, if we back up the Brinkstruck.

EXECUTIVE #1

No way. The idea now is to stopthe hemorrhaging.

EXECUTIVE #2

You better fix this, Stokes. Get

us a white bread replacement,

fast. Bland, milk toast. Not a

speck of controversy.

A giant hand slams on the table. All heads snap.

The CEO drags his fingers along the shiny mahogany.

Deafening sound.

CEO:

(calm and measured)

Squeaky f***ing clean.

INT. STOKES' OFFICE - DAY

Stokes sits behind his mahogany desk, sipping a glass ofwine as he goes over potential Randolph replacements withNORA BISHOP, his pretty protege.

STOKES:

Bumble Bee Billy?

NORA:

(reading from a list)

Wife beater.

STOKES:

Square Dance Danny?

NORA:

Still appealing the mail fraudthing.

STOKES:

Skippy Black and the Tippy Trolls?

NORA:

Black was deported, and thetrolls... well, who gives a sh*t.

Nora kicks the table in frustration.

(CONTINUED)

6.

CONTINUED:

NORA:

This is impossible. If I ever see

that Rainbow Randolph again I'llstrangle him. Choke the life out

of him. Squeeze his scrawny neckuntil his eyes pop out of hisskull and bounce off the walls...

STOKES:

Before indulging such cheeryfantasies, let's just concentrateon saving my job. Shall we?

NORA:

Sorry, Frank.

Stokes flips through a thick stack of files. He suddenly

stops at one.

STOKES:

What's going on with Sheldon Mopesthese days.

Nora laughs.

NORA:

Oh my God. Have we sunk to that

level already? Smoochy the Rhino?

What a sap.

STOKES:

Sap's just the pill we need right

now. Mopes is a straight arrow.

Always has been.

NORA:

The guy can't get arrested, Frank.

He can't even break into the

birthday party circuit. Last I

heard he was working hospitals andnursing homes. He's a joke.

Stokes stands up and walks around the room.

STOKES:

The truth of the matter is, a

successful children's show has

always depended on two simpleelements: a fuzzy costume and alot of hype. Strip away the foamrubber and the network money andthey're all jokes. Marginaltalents.. cabaret acts... off-

Broadway runoff...

(CONTINUED)

7.

CONTINUED:

NORA:

I probably have ten acts in mydevelopment file -- acts I've beencultivating!-- that are more

deserving than Sheldon Mopes.

STOKES:

And each one a moral questionmark. Something I can't risk atthe moment.

NORA:

(frustrated)

We can do better than this guy,

Frank. He brings nothing to thetable.

STOKES:

Except ethics. With Mopes,

there's never been a whiff of

controversy. The man's an

ethical, harmless, cornball. In

short, a glass of milk on twolegs.

Stokes stops pacing.

NORA:

Don't ask me to do it. You know

I'll do anything for you, butplease... not this...

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