Trick

Trixie.

Gabe, could she use

the bathroom first?

l really gotta pee.

Yeah, sure.

She's company, Gabe.

l'll be fast.

You didn't have to stay out

all night.

l fell asleep in the hall.

l thought Judy was coming back

from Paris tonight.

That's right.

l need the apartment tonight.

No problem.

Penny, Penny, Twitty,

and Faffenburger.

Vivian Faffenburger's office,

Gabriel speaking.

-Hey, babe.

-Katherine.

-Are you busy?

-l'm so busy.

-Good, can you talk?

-Sure.

So, that cute guy

we met at Footlight Records...

took me to dinner.

Oh, that's great.

Oh, my God, babe.

Dress rehearsal totally sucked,

but that's good luck, right?

No. He took me to dinner because

he wanted me to play piano...

for one of his auditions for

the national tour of ''Titanic.''

lt wasn't a date.

Men are such scum.

Can you run lines with me?

Sure, just a sec.

Oh, great.

Chapter fourteen, right?

OK. Who is he, the Son of man?

ls he as beautiful as you are?

Get thee behind me.

l hear in the palace

the beating of the wings...

of the angel of death.

-Jokanen.

-Who speaketh?

l am amorous

of your mouth, Jokanen.

lt is like a pomegranate cut

in twain with a knife of ivory.

There is nothing in the world

so red as your mouth.

Suffer me to kiss your mouth.

Don't tell me.

You better tell me.

Never, daughter of Babylon...

daughter of Sodom, never!

This needs to go out

this afternoon.

-Never!

-Gotta go.

Call me later.

Can you sign my timecard?

Hard day at the office?

Did you find a rhyme

for the lyric in the second ''A''?

l'm working on it.

Uh, what's with the umbrella?

What am l supposed to sing?

Should l hum or what?

Yeah, yeah, hum.

Or maybe la la la.

-Fine.

-l'll wing it.

Are we in studio ''D,''

because l hate...

what the acoustics

in that room do to my voice.

OK, this is the song for

the second act of my musical.

Uh, it will be sung

by the character of--

Once again, my friend

Katherine Lamberg...

will be singing the part

of Dorkus the maid.

Oh, and she brought her picture

and rsum...

in case anyone's interested.

l will be reading

the part of Rodrigo...

and stage directions.

OK. OK, Rodrigo's just finished

his big ballad...

applause, applause, applause.

That's some story.

lt would take a miracle

for me to ever love again.

But miracles can happen.

l've never seen one.

Never?

Well, not for a very long time.

Buck up, Rodrigo.

l think you're just about due

for a miracle.

They kiss.

Rodrigo exits.

l've heard

that all the world's a stage

And we are only players

Acting out

some predetermined page

But it is lonely as can be

With nobody opposite me

Then

Enter you

Voila, it's showtime

You brought the house down

with a dance and a dum

Diddy

Enter you

ln less than no time

La la la la la

la la lum litty

Up went the curtain

My lines felt wrong

lntermission seemed so far away

The plot uncertain

The scenes too long

Life was like

an uninspiring play

But

Now you're here

We meet stage center

l thought my story line

was through

Then, enter you

Now you're here

We meet stage center

l thought my story line

was through

Then

From the blue

Enter

You

You were great.

l really liked it.

Thanks.

But, do you think this is how

the maid would really behave?

Well, this isn't reality.

l mean, we're talking about

a maid who belts E-flats here.

l mean, you don't have people

walking down the street...

bursting into song

and dancing, right?

Except maybe

in the West Village.

Ha ha, just kidding.

Anyway, Gabriel,

you made your point...

but it's still important

that the writer tell the truth.

l mean, ''Enter you''?

l don't know.

l mean, she's just been kissed.

Have you captured

that feeling you get...

after a really great kiss--

the best kiss you ever had?

lt's exciting,

and it's terrifying...

and it's sexy and...

and maybe you think

you could fall in love.

You know what l mean?

Well, you know,

Rodrigo and Dorkus just met.

l mean, if we were talking about

how people really behave...

l can't have them falling

in love on the first night.

That wouldn't be believable.

Well, not if you don't

believe it.

l mean, why is she singing this?

Would you sing it?

l hope l didn't

embarrass you in there.

No more than l embarrassed

myself presenting the song.

He gets funny when his songs

don't go over on the first try.

Oh, don't do that.

He's got a copy at home.

Listen, the best advice

anybody ever gave me...

l was writing a libretto...

for a musical version

of ''Satyricon.''

l was having a little trouble...

getting into ancient Rome

and sex orgies, bestiality--

This was in college.

So, this professor tells me that

l should wear silk underpants...

and eat pomegranate seeds

out of a goblet.

-Silk underpants?

-lt changed everything.

Gabriel, you gotta grab life

by the balls.

You gotta try

for the unexpected.

lt's the only way

to get the good stuff.

They're just jealous.

You didn't flop.

l know what a flop feels like,

and this definitely was a flop.

You're too sensitive.

Forget about it.

l put a ticket for my show

tonight under your name.

lt's a comp, so don't let them

intimidate you into paying.

Can you put these

in your backpack?

-So, what do you want to do now?

-l don't know.

-What's that?

-Just something someone gave me.

Some gay bar that charges

three bucks for a Diet Coke?

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