Gossip

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I'm a girl with a problem.

It's not like I don't know better.

I seem to have gotten involved...

...in a very tempting situation.

I do know better...

...but some things are hard to resist.

See my problem?

You look great. Right? This is

completely wasted on the library.

I know, I got your notes.

Very amusing. Can I get one?

I think it's so admirable

that you still study.

I do.

Some of us need to graduate because

eventually we will have to get a job.

Do you guys know that girl over there?

She's got the short thing going.

That's Rebecca.

She's seen you, go.

No, no, no, no.

Travis, you are great-looking.

And this SoHo artist thing you do is

completely sexy. Plus, you're nice.

Contrary to what Derrick believes,

is what women want.

- Yeah?

- Yeah. Go!

Go.

Your friend's real smooth

with the ladies.

It's pathetic.

Bartenders.

You guys see a lot, huh?

More or less.

You should hear his life story.

Pathetic doesn't cover it.

Yeah?

He's homeless but rich.

Completely raised in hotels.

Derrick, you promised you

wouldn't talk about it.

His father tours.

He's this huge rock star.

I'm not supposed to say who, but if

you look at the guy, you'll know.

So his dad's running around,

his mom's a supermodel...

...and they leave him in hotels.

They take care of him,

they just can't be there.

Is it Jagger?

See, I want to...

I can't. I can't, man.

Somebody at the Peninsula sees him

playing checkers with the doorman.

Says, "Who is this kid?"

He's been living there for two years.

No parents in sight.

Come on.

Serious. The night maids

are reading him to sleep.

Do you guys want to split?

- Because I sort of struck out.

- Yeah, let's go.

Here, let me buy you guys a drink.

On the house.

Thanks.

- Is it Cobain?

- Way too young. It's Dylan.

- Is it him?

- No way!

You know, we'd love it

if he'd do a set.

Yeah, I'll ask him.

What did you tell them?

- Nothing. A little fib.

- A little fib?

We got free drinks, didn't we?

But I still didn't get laid, did I?

My friend, the sea is wide.

There are many fish.

Many, many fish. All right?

Travis, didn't you go to bed?

I had an idea.

We got class.

Derrick, come on.

We got Goodwin's class.

I got the rent.

I just don't have it right now.

- Travis, I don't need it.

- No, I got it for you.

- You just said you don't have it.

- Just not right now.

Look, it's my apartment, so I make

the rules:
It's a socialist state.

I have the money, you don't.

Distribution of wealth. No rent.

This is the last time someone will

offer you something for nothing.

Take the deal.

Think of me as your patron.

Your papers...

...are due the first week next month,

no extensions. Okay.

In 1995, a supermarket tabloid

ran this story on its front page.

- What do you think?

- Murderer!

Okay.

The next day, The New York Times

ran this story.

The standard-bearer of

American journalism...

...attributed, without apology,

a gossip magazine as its source.

Now what do you think?

Ms. Waters.

Well...

...news and entertainment are, like,

exactly the same thing anymore...

...so how are we supposed to tell

what's real and what's not?

Do you have an opinion about this?

An opinion?

In an academic environment,

we think about the world we live in.

It may be too much to ask

of someone who spends...

...her creative intellect on her hair.

I thought what Ms. Waters

said was brilliant.

Webb has come to help Ms. Waters.

Her gratitude will be rewarding.

But at least we have someone

willing to state an opinion.

Let's try something else. Back

that opinion up with an argument.

Okay.

Gossip and news are the same thing.

They always have been.

People tell stories.

That's what makes us human.

Come on, Webb.

Connect the dots. Be clear.

People pass a bunch of

stories around...

...finally they're written down,

then you have religion.

You read the Gospels, they're stories

that completely contradict each other.

Matthew's saying this and Luke's

saying, "No, this is what I heard. "

What's your thesis?

All I'm saying is people are people.

We do what we do...

...and then we gossip about it.

It might be great if

we were more noble, but...

...the stories wouldn't be as good.

And I like gossip. It's fun.

Well, that was exhausting.

- What'll you do for his paper?

- He's a prick.

Maybe we should do one together.

He lets people do that.

Hey, Travis. How's it going?

Rebecca. Great.

Wonder who she thinks you are?

I don't know, but whoever it is,

I bet he gets laid a lot.

I had an idea for Goodwin's paper.

I think we should start a rumor.

- You mean on purpose?

- Why not? We're good at it.

What's the point?

You know, track it,

see how it grows.

- Like Telephone.

- Yeah.

So start a rumor...

...like Jones is sleeping with us.

That's why we live together.

Yeah, no one would believe that.

Why not?

You never sleep with a girl

long enough to live with her.

Well, I might.

If Travis took weekends.

I sit behind you in Goodwin's class.

I thought what you said today

was just brilliant.

A beautiful girl thinks I'm brilliant.

I like this party.

Come on, Jones.

Just one.

Hey!

Thanks.

Of course.

Hey, Naomi?

Who comes to a party in the

meatpacking district in a Town Car?

Her father's a very big deal.

Were you going to tell me?

Tell you what?

- You and Goodwin?

- Say that again?

I've always wanted to do it.

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