Dog Eat Dog
- UNRATED
- Year:
- 2016
- 93 min
- 453 Views
You think that your five-foot-four
kindergarten teacher is gonna-
who is, uh, I don't know, 62,
is gonna pull out her ak-47?
has to be armed and use a gun,
but the more people
that have them
makes the world a safer place.
So that's a heck
of a long barrel.
Let me ask you somethin', okay?
Just in the world and life,
what do you need
a barrel that long for?
Great question.
How 'bout it's two o'clock
in the morning
and some methed-out lunatic is
trying to break into your house
to rape and murder your kids?
What do you do then?
You ever read
the second amendment?
What does it say, really?
In a well-regulated militia.
You in a militia?
come here, take off his shirt,
and they have to do something.
Hey, Melissa, what's going on?
I thought we were
doing homework together.
I've got some serious issues
with this cupcake experiment...
This gun is more powerful.
What if he's 50 yards down the pike?
Hit you in the back?
Or a half a mile or a mile
with a para...
The reason why
police officers have guns...
Is he gonna come in the house
with this gun?
Is he gonna come in the house
with this gun?
F***! F***!
Hello?
Yes, may I speak to
John aloysius mccain
of 550 maple Avenue, please?
I'm sorry, sir, but I'm on disability
and i can't give you any money.
Oh, that's okay, sir.
We're not looking for any donations.
I just wanna
get to know you somewhat.
F or instance...
...what do you do for a living,
Mr. mccain?
I... I gut fish.
These cupcakes are killing me.
I am totally not able to get
the cupcake experiment on.
I work in a cannery and I got
Well, that is interesting.
It's like bird
cupcake factory time.
Listen, can I call you back
in a minute?
No, sir, we can't do that.
I just am surprised is all.
Wait, what?
I just didn't know people still
had that job of guttin' fish anymore.
I didn't know they still had the
job of callin' people at dinner
and buggin' the sh*t out
of 'em, motherf***er!
I...
People at the job,
they go off the deep end.
And then what happens?
Whether they're ten years old
or 50 years old,
they reach for that-
take these.
- Oh, thanks for the help.
Oh, sh*t!
You scared me.
Why, am I scary?
I told you,
you cannot stay here.
Listen, my car's at the chevron,
the alternator's f***ed,
it's gonna take 'em
overnight to fix it.
No.
Oh, come on, Sheila.
I got nowhere else to go.
and in the morning pick it up,
and that's it,
and then I'm outta here.
With my f***in' chevron card?
No, uh-uh, give it back.
Oh, come on, Sheila.
I'll make some
f***in' short ribs.
Come on, baby.
We'll have a nice night.
One last night.
It's not gonna kill ya.
Hey, love birds,
did my friend, Hannah, call here
asking about the homework
assignment with the cupcakes?
I have no idea.
She did, and you heard her,
didn't you?
And you just erased it.
I didn't hear nothin'
about no cupcakes!
Just go upstairs
and call Hannah, honey.
So obnoxious!
We'll have a nice night.
We're gonna eat them short ribs.
And then I'm gonna
eat your Booty, baby.
Don't be nasty.
Go get cleaned up, I'll cook dinner,
but this is it, okay?
Tonight is the end.
Okay, scout's honor.
Get the f*** in here!
Get the f*** in here!
Get the f*** in here now!
What the f***
do I use my computer for?
Huh?
I do three things.
Do my spreadsheets for church.
I do my taxes.
And I answer emails.
You know what I don't
use my computer for?
This.
Uh-huh, you're gettin'
the f*** out now!
I got nowhere to go.
That's not my problem.
I got a suitcase full of guns.
What am I gonna f***in' do?
Carjack some old guy like
some n*gger from the projects?
Not my problem!
Give me my chevron card back.
Give me my chevron
card back now!
I can't do that, Sheila.
Get the f*** out,
you f***in' loser!
Pervert!
You drug addict f***in' pervert!
I've got a daughter
in the house!
You're a f***in' loser!
Get the f*** out!
- Hey, Sheila.
You feel like you got problems?
Your problems
are over now, Sheila.
What? No!
No, please, get away! Stop!
No, no, no!
No, no, please, don't hurt me!
Stop, don't hurt me!
Don't hurt me!
Stop!
Okay,
as far as I'm concerned,
we are never going
to collaborate
on making a really cool, really
original cupcakes ever again.
There was me, Troy.
There was mad dog.
And there was diesel.
stand mad dog,
and I get it, I do.
But what you gotta
understand is,
I know this guy
in a very particular way.
Well?
I barely knew mad dog,
but he knew my parole was coming
up and he took this fall for me.
He just did it, like that.
And so, somebody like that?
You owe a lifetime.
Oh, mama.
No, seriously, the smoke.
And you know what?
It worked.
Felt like these huge arms,
felt like your mom
givin' you the biggest hug ever.
Oh, man, the way
i slept that night.
I got news for ya, dog.
Havin' somebody blow
smoke in your mouth is like...
Diesel is just a guy, you know.
I learned a lot from him.
I didn't go outta my way
to f*** with people,
which is more than
I can say for diesel.
Look, I'm just sayin',
this guy's a problem.
Been a long-time problem.
For a guy who comes out
with felony strikes,
a loan collection group
is not a bad job.
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"Dog Eat Dog" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 24 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/dog_eat_dog_7053>.
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